


Procreation

by Mademoiselle_Arel



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: And a little angst cause duh, But primarily fluff and humor, F/M, It's going to get very mature, My First AO3 Post, is this how you tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-09-29 23:26:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10147190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mademoiselle_Arel/pseuds/Mademoiselle_Arel
Summary: After the Exodus disaster, about 150 people have survived and found a way to repair the Ark. They don't know if the 100 are still alive, so the council decides to do what it takes to ensure that the human race will survive, and edicts a new law: Each person between the ages of eighteen and fifty are obliged to have a child. Strictly Kabby.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by the Tumblr user a-kabby-k
> 
> Much thanks to Lydia (charmingly-evil) for all her help.  
> Unbeta-d. So beware.

“Hello Jaha. Yes, our consummation date is scheduled for today.”

“I know, I was just checking in to make sure you have everything you need. How are you feeling?”

“How do you think?” Abby rolled her eyes and balanced the phone between her ear and shoulder before grabbing up her plates and taking them to her makeshift kitchen. Her room was devoid of any sound. Her husband was floated first then her daughter was sent down for a suicide mission.

“I know that we’re asking a lot from you,” Jaha spoke from the other end of the line. “But I would like to thank you for doing this. I know how difficult it must be for you, especially with Kane….”

“I'm not doing this for you Jaha, I’m doing this for our people, for the Ark.” she mumbled as she turned on the faucet and watched the cold water rain down on her dirty plates in the sink. “I can't believe it's come to this. It's funny, isn't it? Our ancestors had fears that we would over populate the ark. Never would they have imagined that we'd have the opposite issue.”

“You’re right, that’s why we’re all doing it.” Jaha, the voice of the reason, kept talking. “I should be seeing Callie tomorrow.”

“I just find it idiotic how I’m stuck with Kane.” Abby sighed and leaned back against the counter. “When there are plenty of other men on the Ark…”

“Abby, we’ve been over this. You two are-“

“Genetically compatible, yes I know.” She looked down on the ground. Did she even have a choice? 

She swallowed before making her way to the bathroom, switching the phone from her left ear to the right. On the other end of the line, Jaha continued. “It is necessary for the survival of the human race.”

Abby had heard these words before. Yes, she had been hearing the Chancellor repeat them over and over again for the past couple of the days, ever since the Exodus Accident. Too many people were lost, thanks to Diana. If they weren’t careful, the humanity was going to become extinct. Abby understood the consequences. This was Jaha being careful.

“We need to repopulate the Arc.” Jaha spoke.

Abby stood in front of her mirror as she listened to the man reason with her. One hand absentmindedly went up to fix her braid. “Don’t you think it’s a bit too sudden? Passing that bill and telling everyone that if they’re older than 20, younger than 45, they need to have a kid?”

“You might think it is but the population has reduced down to 300. Post-Exodus Repopulation Policy is our best shot. If everyone’s matched up, that should give us 150 kids. 150 more people to ensure our survival.”

“And if the earth is habitable?” She leaned down and examined her face. Then her gaze fell down to her shirt. She straightened it with her hands. “The kids are alive and well?”

“Then we find a way to go down there.” Jaha swallowed. “But for now, we need to make sure that we will survive.”

Abby heard a knock on her door. Her heart skipped a beat. “I’ll call you back.”

The line went dead in a matter of seconds and she was left in the company of her own silence. She watched herself from the mirror, noticed her parted lips and dilated pupils. Was she excited? No, nervous would have been the correct term. Nervous because Marcus Kane, the man she was expected to have a kid with all of a sudden, was at the door.

They were both there, in the meeting room when Jaha had announced his decision. A brief eye contact was made but Abby knew it was due to worry that had sparked up their attention towards each other. Later on, when singles were matched purely due to genetics, it was once again Jaha who informed them of their partners. Abby remembered how she had trouble believing it first and then asked Jaha, repeatedly, to reconsider. But it had been no use. It was for humanity, he had said.

Since then, Abby imagined how Marcus had reacted to the news. Was he as shocked as she was? She doubted it. He was a man of business; professional and pragmatic. That man would be willing to float himself if he thought it was necessary for their survival.

The knock was heard a second time and Abby jumped. Right. The door.

She took one last look at herself before running for the door. Then slowing down her pace, because why was she even running?

“Hi,” she breathed out as she swung the door open and faced the future father of her child.

Marcus turned around as quickly as he could, taking in a sudden breath the seconds they made eye contact. He looked the same, she thought, the same with all those times she had seen him in council meetings or around the Arc. His hair was combed back and he was clad in black and grey clothes, looking as sharp as ever. It always surprised her seeing him that way, in the middle of space where everyone wore torn out clothes; he always managed to look clean and well-kept.

“Hello,” he nodded. “May I…?”

“Oh, please. Come on in.” Abby opened the door wider and watched as he made his way in with quiet steps. She breathed in his scent, harsh truth slapping her in the face.  
He was there. In her room. Ready for…

“Abby?”

“Oh, right.” She shook her head and closed the door.

The lights were dimmed in her small room. For one, wasting energy was frowned upon, but also she did not know how comfortable she would be facing him with bright lights shining above them. She turned to him, to a sight she never would have imagined she would see. Marcus Kane, in her quarters. When they faced each other, they evaded each other’s gaze.

“So,” he cleaned his throat and looked around the room. He did not take up much space, did not walk around or occupy a corner he wasn’t welcomed in. “How are you?”

Kudos to Marcus for attempting small talk… “I’m good, you?”

“Excellent.” Then he froze. “Uhm, not because of, you know,” he gestured the invisible tension between them, “Because uhm… I’m-“

“No, it’s fine.” She held up her hand. “Do you want to take a seat?”

He nodded then looked around the room. Apart from the bed, the only place available consisted of two chairs around the small table, located right next to the wall. One chair was vacated, the other had her clothes on it. His gaze lingered on the chairs then shifted to the bed.

She panicked. “Sorry,” She made her way to one of the chairs and emptied it, placing her clothes on the bed.

“Thank you.” He nodded before making his way to the empty spot.

She sat down on the other chair, facing him. Both of her hands were placed on the table, then she decided against it and moved them onto her lap. Was she breathing heavy? “Can I get you anything?”

“No, thank you.” He replied, still looking around the room. Watching everything like a hawk, except for her eyes.

She desperately tried to silence the voices in her head. The air was thick with tension and someone had to refer to the elephant in the room. “Marcus, I…”

“Look, Abby.” He interrupted her. “Before we do… this,I need to say something.”

“O-okay.”

“I asked Jaha if we could try artificial insemination.”

“A Turkey Baster?” She couldn’t help but let out a giggle before imagining herself in a room with her legs raised up high, waiting for the…

“Well, yes,” he raised his eyebrows. “But he told me it wouldn’t be wise to,”

“Waste the Arc’s resources.” She completed his sentence for him, having heard their chancellor use those words at least a million times. 

“And that it should be used for couples who fail at conceiving… the natural way.” He replied, letting out a long breath. 

His lines sounded like they were rehearsed. She just rolled her eyes and watched the man before her, who all of a sudden, did not know what to do with his hands. “No, it’s fine.”

“Is it?”

It wasn’t but did they really have any other choice? She closed her eyes and lied. “Yes.”

She could feel him visibly relax on the chair before her. However it only lasted a mere second now that they had another, more important issue at hand. “So,” he swallowed. “How do you wanna do this?”

“As in… positions or?” She gulped.

“No!” He coughed. “No, no, I meant, how do you want to start.”

“That’s okay, I can answer both questions.” She could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks and took in a deep breath. “Studies show that entering a woman from behind leads to deep penetration and helps the sperm reach the egg quicker. For your second question, your sperm count will probably be increased if you are stimulated. Foreplay will get the engine running, so to speak. So, whatever turns you on, that’s how we will start.”

She watched the man before her go pale. His lips parted in surprise and he raised his eyebrows to give her his best stunned expression. Even if it wasn’t the right place nor the right time, she couldn’t help but smile.

“What.. turns me on?” He managed to choke out. Never in her life had she seen him at a loss of words. “Well, this is certainly not information you share with your co-councilors every day.”

“You don’t have to tell me.” Abby looked down on the table. Since when she was this courageous? “You can show me.”

“I can?” He looked at her. Really looked at her as if years of knowing her, decades, this was the first time he was noticing that she was a woman. Then he repeated his words, stripping them of the question. “I can.”

She nodded. Then she stood up.

She let her legs carry her to her bed and sat down. Butterflies danced around in her stomach and she tried her best to focus. Speaking was easy but practice? Suddenly, she felt shivers run down her spine.

“May I?” Marcus gestured the bed and she nodded.

She watched as he, ever so gently, stood up, pushed the chair back towards the table and took a couple of steps before sitting himself down on the bed with her, making sure to leave at least a little distance between them. Their thighs were close enough to touch but not quite making contact.  
Her breathing sped up and she focused on the little crease of his shirt on his collar.

“Abby?”

“Hmm?” She forced herself too look up and meet his gaze.

He extended an arm towards her, as if she were to let him, he would pull her closer and crash her body against his. Her eyes moved from his face to his arm, hovering over her back but being careful not to touch it. She nodded and scooted closer to him on the bed, their legs now finally touching. His hand landed on the small of her back and she pretended not to notice the electricity shooting up from the parts of her that was in contact with his.

What was this? Since when was she ever this nervous? When she had first agreed to this, it felt like it was going to be a professional business. She had always imagined Marcus Kane the type to come in, do his thing and leave. But now, he was urging her to relax around him and drawing invisible circles on her back with his thumb. It was not helping. The sentiment she felt in his actions caused her to panic, fill her chest with anticipation strong enough that it was difficult to even breathe.

“You okay?” He asked, trying to hold her gaze.

She nodded. Why was she lying? She was nowhere near okay. Her body was on fire.

He moved an inch closer and she could feel his breath against her cheek. It felt too intimate, too much for her to take. So she did the only thing she could and closed her eyes, trusting her instinct. She breathed in his cologne. Something woody, a touch of something floral with the scotch he had gulped down earlier that day. It reminded her of all those times he had walked past her in the hallways. Never would she have thought she would be exploring the depths of his scent.

His fingers shifted to the side of her waist and her senses started burning once more under his touch. She was hyperaware of her surroundings; every move he made, she felt it deep in her core. Her hand went to rest on his thigh before she could stop it. His jeans were rough, worn out, the color faded.

This man. This man she had argued, fought with, disagreed every day since she had commenced her duty as a council member. This man existed to oppose her. He was her contradiction. Everything she was, he wasn’t. Everything he couldn’t be was her essence. It got to her. Curiosity filled her lungs and the will to explore had her slowly lifting up her chin to take a good look at him.

She watched him swallow and mimicked him. He was closer now, the ghost of his lips hovering right above her jawline. It sparked up the fire, and she felt her breathing speed up. She tried to control it.

He was going to kiss her. She was in charge.

She felt wetness pooling between her legs. The control fled from her grasp.

What.

“Abby?”

“Oh my God,” she breathed out and abruptly stood up, putting a few feet of distance between them. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t let her body react to his touch that way when this was strictly business. She couldn’t let herself get excited over his presence. She needed to clear her mind and put her head in the game.

Marcus looked up at her from the bed, with worry crossing her features. “Abby, I know this is not easy,”

“You think?!”

“Look, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. 

“What do you mean? Of course we do. We have to.”

“These things can take time. Would you like me to come back tomorrow?”

She frowned and looked at him, still seated on the bed. However, he looked a lot tenser now. “You can’t, we’re scheduled for today.”

He sighed and finally got up, taking a step towards her. He chose not to take more than two steps and she was grateful to have her personal space preserved after that out of   
place adrenaline rush. “I know, but I can talk to Sinclair. He’ll change it.”

“Why?”

“Because I am not going to do this unless you are comfortable with it.”

She froze and looked up to meet his gaze. He looked a lot softer under the bedroom light, lot more humane compared to all the times she had found herself arguing with her over the council table. There was understanding in his eyes, and respect for the thing they were about to do.

“Really? You don’t mind?” She asked with a quiet voice.

“Of course not.” He shook his head. “I’ll be back tomorrow. In the meanwhile, try to get some sleep.”

She nodded and under her watchful gaze, his lips curved into a compassionate smile before taking a step back and heading for the door. Seconds later, she was alone in the privacy of her room.

She let out a breath she was holding the minute the door was shut closed.

Next day. She could do this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your lovely comments!  
> Again, unbeta-d

It was a series of flashes. Her mind tried to keep up. Her eyes jumped from one memory to other. It overwhelmed her. 

She turned around as her hand absentmindedly slipped past her sweatpants to find the hem of her panties, trying to relieve the tension. She couldn’t, because no matter what she did, no matter where she turned, Marcus was on her, behind her, hovering over her. It was a series of repetitive moves on his part that had formed the pool in her underwear. And how tremendously real it felt…

The images were blurry but her mind tried to hold onto them. A delicious feeling crept up inside her and then she was smiling, writhing against the blanket, moving her hand even lower. It had been a while. She craved the sensation.

The man above her whispered words that were inaudible. She did not care. She focused on the movement of his hips. “Baby.”

“Hmm?” was her only response into the night. A smile appeared on her lips.

“We are making a baby.”

Huh?

Her eyes flickered open and she faced a complete darkness before sitting up with confusion. Refusing to admit to herself that it was all a dream, she groaned and checked the alarm clock on her bed stand. 4.20 AM. Great…

She allowed herself to get up approximately 3 hours later, spending the last few hours of the night in a state alternating between reality and dreamland. The closer the morning approached, the more she faced the brutal truth of having a sex dream about her co-councilor. Having to go through this with him was embarrassing enough and now her subconscious had taken a defense against her.

It was stupid. Her reaction was idiotic. So what she had a wet dream about Marcus? It could have happened to anyone. It didn’t have to mean anything. It was probably remnants from last night.

She shook her head, braided her hair, got dressed and left her quarters.

Council meeting was scheduled to start at 9.00. The room was already filling up with her coworkers arriving in their most professional outfits. She was seated in her usual place, going over the notes when she sensed his presence. Without bothering to lift her head up to face him, she heard him greet her.

“Councilor.” His voice was the same as if it belonged to an everyday Marcus. For a moment, it felt as though this was an ordinary day and that they were not scheduled to have sex that night.

“Councilor.” She repeated back his words, memorizing the patterns on the paper before her. She did not need to see him to acknowledge his presence. She could very well sit there, unaware of her surroundings until Jaha commenced their meeting.

And yet… she couldn’t help but take a small peek towards the man who occupied the seat right across from hers. He looked sharp as always, well rested, clean and dominant. She watched him arrange the two pens on the table so they sat parallel to the papers. Then he moved to take his jacket off.

He had a broad chest and defined arms but his long sleeved shirt limited her vision. She swallowed, and when he sensed her stare and countered, she panicked and directed her attention back towards her papers. Memories of her dream were floating around in her head.

This was stupid. She could feel herself blush and lowered her head to avoid being seen.

“Good morning!” Jaha walked in and everything was forgotten. “I expect everyone is doing well. I would like to start today by discussing the progress of repair of the Ark after the Exodus accident.”

Upon hearing the name, a few councilors shook their heads because after all, none of them was over the stunt Diana had pulled along with her ultimate betrayal.

“We have managed to secure the ship, however we have only enough manpower left to work on one area at a time. I would like to take your suggestions on which section is priority.” Jaha finished as he eyed the council.

There was brief silence for a minute before Abby raised her hand to speak. “I think it is a wise choice to start with medical bay. Health should always be a priority.”

“I agree,” Kane spoke from the other end of the table. “It is and it should be, but Sir, don’t you think it’s wiser to secure the airlocks first? The medical bay will be no use to us if we have a leak and we’re dying.”

Abby frowned as she watched the man before her. What was he talking about? “Excuse me, Councilor, I do have one question. What’s the use of securing the airlocks if we fail at healing people who are sick? Especially with the Post-Exodus Reproduction Policy, we need medicine more than ever.”

Kane nodded and Abby was glad. With a smile, she returned to her papers and checked her notes. Well, at least today he was logica-

“I disagree.”

What. That bastard of a man!

“Excuse me?” She raised her head to take a look at him. She wanted to see him flinch, lean back, do something, anything but he remained in his seat with the ever so stoic expression she was used to seeing almost every day.

“You heard me.” Kane spoke with that patronizing tone. “With all due respect, who are you going to treat if we’re all dead?”

She felt anger slowly building up in her chest. Her breathing sped up as she struggled to keep her cool. “There is no point in securing the airlocks of a ship that’s already been checked thoroughly. We know that there is no leak.”

“And what if there is?”

“There isn’t.” She shook her head.

“Really? Does your medical degree tell you that?” He leaned forward and smirked at her.

How dare he.

Abby’s eyes widened with surprise as she stared back at him, completely appalled at his choice of words. Who did he think he was? “The reports we have received from the mechanics tell me that.”

“I figured,” Marcus rolled his eyes before grabbing the few documents before him and standing up. The council guarded their silence, none of them willing to bring the level of tension any higher than what was necessary. Furthermore, no one dared to speak when Abby and Kane stared at each other like they were about to commit mass murder.

“Sir,” Marcus continued. “I would like to bring an evidence regarding our chief mechanic to the council’s attention. We have a strong reason to believe he had an intimate relationship with an individual who became collateral damage in the Exodus accident. Thus, there can be conflict of interest in his report.”

Abby grabbed the file handed to her by Kane as her eyes searched for information that verified his words. “So what? Because he lost a loved one, you think he’s out to get us all?”

She smirked because she could feel him tense up. He breathed from his nose and slowly rolled up his sleeves. Abby tried very hard not to look. She swallowed.

Jaha picked up the file from Kane’s hand and gave it a read as he glanced at the direction of his two councilors. “What do you think, Abby?”

“I think,” she started without tearing her gaze away from Marcus who chose not to sit back down. “Everyone lost people they cared about. It doesn’t give them reason to falsify the reports.” 

“I’m not saying he forged those documents.” Kane put two palms on the desk as he leaned closer to her.

“That’s exactly what you’re saying.”

“I’m saying, we have reason to believe that he is not capable enough to come to a decision that’s vital for the Ark’s survival.”

“So what?” Abby raised her eyebrows in disbelief as she too stood up. “He’s not mentally capable? Is that your argument?”

“My argument,” Marcus leaned further towards her. “Is that he does not possess the capacity to act.”

“Because his girlfriend died?” Abby smirked.

“Chancellor Jaha,” Marcus suddenly turned to the man who was sitting at the very end of the table. “I don’t understand why we’re letting a doctor decided on state matters.”

“Hey, if you’re going to oppose me at least say it to my face and don’t go running to mother like some kind of a twelve year-“

“Alright, alright!” Jaha interrupted them.

Abby looked at Marcus, watched his chest as it rapidly rose up and down. She watched how his nostrils were flared, hands curled into fists by his side. He had addressed Jaha but his stare remained on her. She hated him. However, she let her gaze flicker down to his body, to his defined forearms, the veins on his wrists. Suddenly lacking all the shame, her gaze travelled back up to his eyes and saw the smug expression in them.

“I understand the predicament” Jaha nodded, gesturing for both of them to sit down. They didn’t. “I will think about it and I will let you know of my decision in the afternoon. Until then, this meeting is adjourned.”

Abby gathered her papers and without taking another look at the man before him, she walked around the table, ready to leave the room. However a hand on her wrist stopped her.

“Abby, will you be okay?” Jaha asked from where he was sitting.

“Why won’t I be?” She shrugged, trying her best to calm down her breathing so Jaha would remain oblivious as to how much Marcus was getting under her skin.

“How did everything go last night?”

She swallowed, looked at the open door, then her boss. Marcus was gathering his jacket at the other end of the table, pretending to be invisible. “Everything is fine.”

“Abby?”

“Look, I agreed to this and you can expect your positive outcome but,” she pulled her wrist back from his grasp. “What’s between me and him is not anyone’s business.”  
With that, she left the room, leaving behind two puzzled men.

How dare he? How could he do that? How could he act all so nice when they were in private and turn into this complete jerk when they were in a meeting? Why did he have the need to negate everything she said? Also those arms… Why did he have to look so attractive doing it? NO. She shook her head. She was supposed to quit focusing on his arms and start focusing on the file he had handed out. She was desperately trying to control her temper when she heard footsteps behind her.

“Abby!” 

Turning around, she was faced with none other than Marcus Kane who was making his way over to her at the hallway with his jacket in hand. She thanked God for every second he did not put that thing back on. Then she scolded herself for even thinking that. “Yes, what can I do for you, Councilor?”

“You okay?” He came to a halt when he was just a few steps away from her. The hallway was practically empty except for a few guards. “I was a bit harsh with-“

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “I’m fine, Kane. I am not some fragile flower you need to water every two hours.”

“No, because that would kill the flower.” He replied and by God, did he have to have a response for everything?

“Funny.”

“No, really. You see, plants require water only once a day. Anything more would be enough to-“

“Can I help you with anything?” She interrupted him.

She could see him visibly slouch and she would be lying if she said it didn’t give her some kind of a satisfaction. “Right. I was asking if you would still like me to… visit your quarters tonight?”

Oh God. The consummation. 

“Uhm.. yeah, that’s… fine.” Was it?

“You sure?”

“We need to get to it at some point.” She nodded. Suddenly it got difficult to look him in the eye. She felt the blood rushing back up to her cheeks again and found herself looking down on the ground to inspect her shoes. Was it hot all of a sudden?

“I told you, you can take your time.”

“I already did. Yesterday. Postponing it any further would be unwise.” But also, she did not want him to not be there. Even when he was suggesting the possibility of rescheduling it, she suddenly found herself unwilling. 

No, what? She hated him. Right?

“Alright, well.” He nodded and she pretended not to notice the tender smile on his lips. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Absolutely. I’ll be there.”

Of course you’ll be there Griffin, it’s your room. Jesus, just stop talking.


	3. Chapter 3

“Doctors can’t be on councils? Really, Kane?” 

Those were the first words she uttered the moment she swung the door open, coming face to face with the man who she had been arguing earlier that day. Marcus’ eyes widened in shock.

“Hello to you too.” He mumbled as he walked past her and stepped into the room. It was the attempt number two of their consummation and they weren’t off to a great start.

She shut the door close once he was in the privacy of her quarters. The sight of him there felt more natural this time; a thought she had been trying to get herself used to now that this was about to be routine. His jacket from before was still grasped lightly in his fist but he had changed his shirt to a one of a deeper color. “Attacking my profession over my words? That’s your argument now?”

“I just meant that…” he turned to face her, with parted lips and an expression of a man who tried to convince a man not to jump off a bridge. “…that even though you are a great doctor, maybe we should think twice before taking advice from a-“

“Do not finish that sentence.” 

He let out an exasperated sigh before throwing his jacket on the bed. Abby’s eyes followed the gesture, suddenly glad that the jacket was on her bed instead of around his   
shoulders. No, they were arguing. There was no time for those kinds of thoughts.

“Abby, look,” He took a step forward. “I know that I was a bit too much with my argument, and I know that it hurt you,”

“You think you hurt me?” Abby asked with a smirk.

“But,” he continued, ignoring her. “Do you think we should be discussing this right before we…”

“Fuck?”

“N.. I.. uhm, come again?” He drew a sharp breath before throwing her an incredulous look. “That.. would not be the term I’d use.”

“No? You don’t fuck? Does Marcus Kane make love?” She spat out the words, a small smile still playing on her lips. Yes, maybe she was stepping over the invisible line. She was trying to get a reaction out of him.

“You’re just trying to get back at me.” He chuckled and rolled up his sleeves before placing both his hands on his hips. 

Abby caught a glimpse of his forearms and couldn’t help but lick her lips. It was her subconscious.

“Haven’t you heard? That’s all there is to our relationship.” She sighed and walked past him. Overthinking had become a habit of hers. Her mind refused to silence itself. She had analyzed their situation back and forth, she had imagined them in every sort of possible scenario they could be in but it was no use. She and Marcus Kane existed to oppose each other and turning this relationship into anything more than that would be a mistake. No matter how nice his arms were or how low his voice sounded when he argue… Stop it.

“Is there?”

She just snorted as a response before picking up his jacket and placing it on the chair. She turned around and faced him, watched his face clouded with disappointment. 

“So,” she shrugged. “How do we start?”

“No, no, no,” he shook his head with a tender smile that took her breath away. It was always under these dim lights and in the sole presence of her she got to see the gentle side of Marcus Kane. “We’re not doing anything when you’re like this.”

“Like what?”

“Careless.” He evaded her gaze and looked around the room as if the walls would come alive and vouch for him. “Annoyed.”

“I am always annoyed at you.” She crossed her arms in front of her small frame and watched him. She could tell that he was having a hard time choosing his words and that fact itself gave her a sense of comfort that took her by surprise. Feeling comfortable around Marcus was new. It was as though he was as nervous as she was.

“And normally, I’d be fine with that,” he swallowed. “But what we’re about to do here is far more intimate than yelling at each other over the council table even though I have to admit arguing with you often times does make me feel… warm. However, my point is tha-“

“Whoa, back up,” she held out a hand and threw him a sly look. “Excuse me?”

“Maybe we should change the subject now,” Marcus quickly faced away from her as his gaze roamed over the room. His foot started tapping impatiently on the floor, creating a fast paced rhythm that brought a smile to Abby’s lips.

“It makes you feel warm?” She took a step towards him, suddenly locating the courage within her and pulling it out of the shadows before letting it resurface once more. “Correct me if I’m wrong but… constant fighting with me gets you hot?”

“Hey, the words ‘warm’ and ‘hot’ are very far away from each other on the spectrum.” 

“Uh-uh.” She nodded as she watched him squirm under her words.  
It was indeed a delicious sight; juicy enough to make her want to grab his belt and crash their bodies together before pulling him into a kiss passionate enough to wipe that shocked expression off his face. However, no matter how much her body screamed at her to take a step forward, there still existed a physical line none of them had crossed yet. The barrier was there, teasing her, taunting her, making her want to rip it in half but at the same time wishing Marcus would the one to make the first move.

Her mind reeked of audacity, did jumping jacks in her head but her hands still remained shy.

“It’s too much, you know,” Marcus shrugged before her, snapping her out of her brief daydream filled with a myriad of dilemmas.

“What is?” She managed to mumble, looking up to his eyes. He had always been taller than her, even when they were kids.

“Them, expecting us to do this.” He lifted one hand up to his face and rubbed his eye. “We are coworkers, barely friends, we have never been anything more than that… but suddenly we’re expected to do more, much more.”

“I know, I am trying to make myself accept it every day.” She spoke, her voice soft. Then she found herself uttering the words she never would have thought she would hear herself speak. “Would you like to take it slow?”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise and watched her. “Yes, you?”

“I’d like nothing more.” She nodded. “What do you suggest we start with?”

“How about… with this?”

With that, he reached over and grabbed her hand.

Abby gasped in surprise. She looked at him first, then at their hands then back up at him before cracking a small smile. Butterflies danced around in her stomach and she tried to remember the last time she had experienced that feeling. It had to be with Jake, back in college. She remembered how young she was.

“Would you like to sit down?”

He nodded and she led him to the bed, letting their hands fall apart. It was not a Queen size, though it was bigger than a twin, giving them plenty of space to lie down comfortably, side by side with their backs against the headboard. She saw Marcus hesitate first but she encouraged him with a smile.

She made him take his shoes off and he laughed, claiming if he did, so should she.

He settled next to her and for a while they just sat there, relaxing in the bed they were supposed to be consummating in.

“We can do this, we’re both adults.” Abby started, keeping both hands on her lap and staring straight ahead.

“Of course, when the time comes, we will both be civil and do our duty like everyone else.” He agreed, mimicking her position on the bed. It was as if there was an invisible wall between them and both of them were cautious enough to not cross it.

“Absolutely, it will be easy.”

“Slow and steady, that’s how we’ll do it.” He remarked once more, repeating their strategy so that it could be engraved in their mind. Sticking to the plan always produced positive results.

“We need to learn how to be comfortable around each other.”

Suddenly she became aware of their position. She was sitting up on her bed with Marcus Kane. Marcus Freakin’ Kane was in her bed. Her heart had already started beating faster the moment he took his shoes off.

“Physically.” He added.

Well, at least they were on the same page.

She turned to him slowly, watching his face to see his reaction. “Do you want to maybe… try kissing?”

She heard him draw in a sharp breath and lick his lips. Was that a good sign?

“You sure?”

She nodded. Suddenly the silence was too loud for her to take. Or was it her heart beat? Suggestions were easy but going through with them took guts. She suddenly found herself paying close attention to her lips, reminding her of all those times in the meetings where she watched his lips instead of his eyes. God… she had thought about this for way too   
long. The thought itself was enough to make her blush.

“Okay so…” He cleared his throat and slowly raised his arm only to have it land around her shoulders, making sure to keep an eye on her levels of comfort. “How’s this?”

Abby was suddenly enveloped in his scent. She noticed how her hormones reacted to his touch as she shifted closer to him on the bed so that their bodies were pressed tightly together. If holding his hands felt like electricity before, this felt like pure wild fire. Her heart started beating in its own accord and she bit her lower lip to keep herself from grinning like a schoolgirl. 

“Cozy.”

“You nervous?” 

“Should I be?”

“No.” His eyes were soft, his touch was gentle and most importantly, his intentions were pure.

Her hands were resting on his thigh and she had no idea how that had happened. But she didn’t dwell on it much further considering Marcus’ other hand was coming up to rest on her neck and she took in a deep breath. Anticipation was building up in her chest; expanding her ribcage with every time she inhaled his scent. Her body was already reacting to him.

Her eyelids fluttered close and she parted her lips.

“You smell nicer than I had imagined.” He whispered just inches away from her face.

“You imagined what I’d smell like?” She couldn’t dare to open her eyes and break their bubble.

“So many times…” 

Longing. He was longing for her.

But before she had a chance to process that information, his lips were on hers. 

There was a kind of sensation that took place when once had been waiting for something too long and too hard. It was a unique experience when the object of one’s wish was right there, beside her. First, there was excitement, stress, sometimes even doubt, and then there was surprise, bewilderment and finally euphoria.

And when Abby Griffin tasted her own wish, she moaned into his mouth.

It was certainly a small kiss, nothing big enough to send her heart into overdrive and yet here she was, completely numb from his touch. He tightened his hand around her shoulder and she opened her mouth for him to deepen the kiss which had started out small. 

Marcus Kane tasted like everything and more. It was the aroma of masculinity, the aftertaste of his daily glass of scotch and an exquisite flavor that came from being him. She felt as though this was their first and their hundredth kiss.

It was new and yet so familiar. It was hot and she felt herself getting lost in it.

Suddenly both her hands were on his collar as she crushed his body hard against hers; taking everything he was willing to give. She lost all coherent thought when his kisses got stronger, angrier and finally sloppier. It was like the wind. It had started out pleasant but quickly it had turned into a hurricane.

Their bodies automatically adjusted themselves so that they were both turned towards each other. Marcus’ hand had already left her shoulder and had moved down to her waist as the other stroked down the slope of her neck. She kissed him in the memory of all the times she wanted to but couldn’t. She allowed herself to bit down on his lower lip and chuckled against his mouth when he groaned.

The room was growing warmer. Lack of oxygen was driving both of them mad. Abby could already feel the wetness between her legs and needing more, wanting more, she yanked his shirt once more to bring him down on the bed with her.

She laid down, without ceasing contact with his lips, felt him climb on top of her. It was all breathless moans from that point on. She had lost control and felt him surrender his own. His hands refused to remain innocent and started roaming up and down her body, exploring and discovering new territories.

“God…” She moaned once she felt him between her legs. Clothes were too much. His kisses were wet and now his mouth was leaving her lips, trailing kisses down her jaw and neck. She buried one hand in his hair and encouraged him to move lower.

“Abby…” That was the single word he breathed out against her skin as she hooked both legs around his waist, desperately trying to get some kind of a friction to relieve the pressure building up between her hips.

Then he was back on her lips again, kissing her, tasting her, nibbling on her lower lip. “Don’t stop…”

He did the opposite.

That bastard.

“Abby, Abby, God, wait a minute…” Marcus was panting and Abby came to realize she liked leaving him out of breath.

“What…” She was writhing underneath him. Why wasn’t he moving?

“We said…” Marcus slowly pulled back, hovering over her on the bed. “We said slow and steady.”

Yeaah… About that. 

“Oh,” She shrugged and attempted to get her breathing under control. Her hand went to her hair as she ran her fingers through her locks, desperately trying to calm them down.   
It was all surreal because she hadn’t registered the reality yet. For her, she had just been making out with Marcus Kane and she wanted more. But contrary to her protests, Marcus slowly lifted himself off of her.

“That was…” He swallowed before sitting up on the bed again. “…that was, interesting.”

“Interesting?” She chuckled, also sitting up and fixing her shirt. She noticed how messy his usually combed and neat hair was and couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“I don’t have any other words to describe it, just…” His eyes were wide as if he was trying to process what had happened. “Not what I was expecting.”

“And what were you expecting?” 

“A warm-up period.” 

She chuckled before letting her hair loose from the already dishevel braid. “We can leave that to some other day.”

“Do you still want me to come back tomorrow?” He asked.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” She frowned.

“We said slow, Abby.” Marcus bit his lip and chuckled. It took every ounce of her not to kiss the smirk off of his lips. “This… is not slow.”

“Right…” The blush was back on her cheeks again.

Marcus got up from the bed. If she thought he looked tall before, it was nothing compared to how big he seemed when he stood towering her over the bed. His shirt rose up, displaying an inch of his skin over the belt and she fought with the primal woman in herself not to reach up and tear his shirt off. No, he was still Marcus Kane, her co-councilor.

“Will you be at the meeting tomorrow?”

“So that you can humiliate me even further?” She quipped. 

“Abby,” He sat down as he put his boots back on, giving her a look over his shoulder.

“Yes, I will.” She nodded. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders as she combed the locks with her fingers.

“I look forward to seeing you.” Marcus smiled and once he was done, he got up. But before he left her quarters, he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “Councilor.”

“Councilor.” She smiled, throwing him a flirty look.

“Goodnight, Abby.” Then he stopped and took a good look at her. “You should wear your hair like that more often. It suits you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and leave a kudos or a review on your way out, enjoy your day!


	4. Chapter 4

A major concern in hemophilia A is the development of neutralizing antibodies (inhibitors) that prevent further use of therapeutic FVIII. The current options are immune tolerance therapy…

“Good morning,”

Abby’s heart skipped a beat when she heard his voice. She immediately put a halt to reading her book and looked up to see kind eyes staring down at her. She was barely able to stop herself from falling off her chair as she felt a familiar blush creeping up her cheeks.

“Hello.” She responded softly, then looked around to see if they were disturbing the peace. The library was empty except for a few students and a council member that Abby had already greeted when she had walked into the room with a cup of coffee in hand. 

Marcus smiled and gestured her table. “May I?”

It was a medium sized table, with four chairs around it. Abby was its sole occupant so she nodded and watched as Marcus took the seat right next to the one that was directly across from her. The bright light that illuminated the room complimented his figure. He made sure to keep a safe distance between them. Not to mention the fact that, everyone knew Kane and Abby never sat together. 

The Ark was also not aware that they were matched on the system and was supposed to make a baby together. List of the names of consummation partners were never made public. It was up to the participants to share if they desired.

She got back to her medical book, but not before peeking at his, curious to see what he was reading.

The Prince, by Machiavelli. Of course. His was beyond reading it at that point. He had underlined practically every single sentence. Reading was for amateurs, Marcus studied that book.

She shook her head and tried to ignore him taking off his jacket. That damn jacket…

Recombinant-derived FVIIa is safe and effective for treatment of bleeding episodes in hemophilia patients with inhibitors, and FVIIa infusion has not produced neutralizing antibodies in hemophilia patients.

“Are you still willing to pursue your argument on prioritizing the medical bay or have you come to your senses?” He whispered from across the desk, without lifting his head from his book.

Abby frowned to her book and spoke, also not looking up to face him. “Are you willing to argue that we give importance to an issue that’s already been discussed or have you located your human side?”

“Ouch.” He chuckled. She was always found of his voice; it was deep and rich like the only piece of chocolate she had ever had in her life.

“Did I hit a nerve?” She made sure to keep her voice low. Theirs was the only sound in the quiet library.

“You certainly tried.” He grabbed his pencil and noted down a few words on the book. If one watched them from afar, it would be impossible to tell that they were talking, let alone arguing. “I’m beginning to think you enjoy it.”

“Do you think I do?” At the same time, she desperately tried to force herself to focus on her book so she would seem careless. Cause she really was. She did not care about him. Then, why couldn’t she concentrate?

Marcus put his pencil down and Abby couldn’t help but look up, surprised that he was now also facing her. She swallowed.

“You get a kick out of it.” His gaze dropped down to her lips. “I think you love it.”

Memories of him tracing her jaw with his lips flashed across her mind. She scolded herself. Not now.

“Oh, that’s just stupid!”

“Ssh!” Two students hushed them and they were both snapped out of their private trance, returning to their respective books.

Although many approaches to improve hemophilia care currently in clinical development involve replacement of modified versions of…

“Are you coming over tonight?” Oh, just stop it.

“Am I?” He responded, his voice even lower now that they were discussing a matter that was no longer public.

“Are you?” She hated it when he did that. Why couldn’t he just answer her question?

“Would you like me to?”

“Aren’t we scheduled?”

“Are we?”

“Are we playing 20 questions?” She finally looked up from her book. “Or are you afraid to give me a straight answer?”

“Just making sure that we’re on the same page.” He shrugged and brought the book closer as if he had caught an important piece of information in pages he had read only a hundred times before.

“Us? I don’t even think we’re on the same book.” 

He looked up from his book and read the cover of her medical one. Hemophilia. “That’s about right.”

“You know perfectly well what I mean.” She snorted. “But we are…” She then lowered her voice and looked around to see if any of the curious students were eavesdropping. “…making a baby so the books we read don’t really matter.”

“Oh yeah? What if I’m interested in reading your book?”

What? What was that supposed to mean?

Marcus liked his metaphors, Abby was well aware but she raised her eyebrows and stared at him as she tried to wrap her mind around his words. Did he mean that he was interested in her? Did he want something more? 

“You wouldn’t like it.” She was in a mine field. Cautious steps were a necessity. 

“Just because our books are different doesn’t mean I won’t be interested in what yours has to offer.”

Abby sucked in a breath as she pondered his words, half afraid that they did not carry the meaning that she thought they did. The game was risky, and she did not know if she was up for it. Hell, she didn’t even know what was it that they had with Marcus. It had started as a mandatory collaboration… then one kiss and it had turned into innuendoes and silent conversations in libraries.

Please God, let it be that they were not talking about books…

“Marcus, I…”

“Councilor Kane!”

They both looked up to see Sinclair towering them by the table. Abby felt disappointment sink in but she immediately turned her attention back to the pages she had long lost interest in.

“Am I interrupting?”

“What do you need, Sinclair?” Marcus responded, avoiding the answer to that question.

“Just wanted to talk to you about that report you handed out during the meeting yesterday. If you have time, that is…”

“Absolutely,” Marcus stood up. “I think there was a slight misunderstanding about that report. When I handed it out, I did not mean for it to…”

Without pausing his words, Marcus stood up and leaned over to grab Abby’s book from her hands.

“Hey, what the-“

“…stir the amount of controversy it did considering I was only…” he replaced her medical book with his Machiavelli. “…acting as behalf of the Ark. You should know the importance of detail when it comes to these things.”

“I understand.” Sinclair responded, his eye on the odd exchange of books.

“I’m glad that you do. Let’s walk to the office to go over the report.” Marcus replied with a smile then turned to Abby who was still busy staring at her newly acquired book. “Councilor.”

She looked up at him with parted lips. Her gaze then fell onto the book of medicine in his hand. 

“Councilor.” She managed to choke out.

#

Abby’s heart was beating fast.

It had picked up its pace the minute Marcus had given her his book and taken hers. She had watched him leave right after, trying to accept and understand how his most beloved possession came to be in her hands. She knew that man. She knew that man since childhood. She also knew the book. It carried importance. Now it was sitting on her desk, staring back at her. 

Her fingers gently traced the cover. She noticed how worn out the paperback was. The book itself looked puffy, thick, the pages not falling on each other like they originally used to. It looked like it was in the midst of taking a deep breath, unable to exhale. She would imagine Marcus was the type of person to go over that book almost every couple of months or so. With tentative steps, she sat on the chair and picked up the book, treating it like it was fragile glass. 

The minute she opened the book, she was sucked into the vortex that was Marcus Kane’s mind. Every free space that once existed in every page was filled with notes, anecdotes, and arguments in a hand writing that was bold and confident at times, tiny and cursive at others. Sometimes the pen was black, sometimes blue, and then she would see a short sentence written in red. 

She let herself tune in closer to his writing, finding herself less interested in what the book had to offer and more in his interpretation of it. The sentences were always different. One said, “To remain in power, a prince must avoid the hatred of his people.” It was written in beautiful cursive with an exclamation point at the end. Then the next note said, “It is not necessary for him to be loved; in fact, it is often better for him to be feared… WRONG! Not often, quite rarely!”. Then there was a paragraph long explanation as to why. “History shows the consequences of a feared government. Doesn’t always end well.” So he disagreed with it?

Every page was filled to the brim. It would take a week to read and fully understand the book. It would take another to understand what Marcus had to say about it.

She spent another hour on the book. She made herself some tea and let herself get lost in his beautiful handwriting. She read the first chapter, along with his notes. She marveled on the ideas, what he’d made of them, his addition to them, the sentences he’d underlined, the doodles he had on the corners… She watched him grow up and mature through the notes and only when she made it to the second chapter, there was a knock on the door.

Of course, he was early…

“Have you eaten?” He asked, the minute she opened the door.

“From your question and the bag in your head, I’m glad that I didn’t.” She opened the door wider. “Come on in.”

“It’s nothing really.” He walked in before placing the bag on the table. “The usual that the cafeteria serves, I just thought that since you… sometimes skip dinner-“

“How do you know I skip dinner?” She walked over to him and helped him open up the bag.

“You never eat alone. You’re always with someone during breakfast and lunch. And since you never show up at the cafeteria for dinners, I just thought that… you go straight to sleep.”

She stopped and turned to look at him with wide eyes. How did he know all that?

“Are you tracking me, Kane?”

“I track everybody, Abby.”

However, she found that hard to believe. She knew that Marcus had an eye on everyone. She knew that nothing happened on the Ark without him somehow, someway knowing about it. But she strongly doubted that he knew everyone’s eating habits.

“You’re reading the book?” He asked, gesturing it sitting on the table. He had a proud smile on his face like a child who was showing the drawing he had just made to his parents.

“I am.” She nodded and sat down, watching him do the same right across from her. She put the book aside so they wouldn’t get any food on it. “Along with your notes…”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” He chuckled before grabbing his fork and digging it into a bowl of noodles. He played with it a little, stirred the pasta, not actually eating. “I never thought I’d lend it to anyone so…”

“No one has ever borrowed it before?” She frowned and looked up at him. He really did look softer whenever he was in her room. The councilor that argued with her ferociously almost every day was gone and Marcus, the man who liked to read with passion stood in his place. It was really astonishing, getting to witness this side of him. Something deep inside her stirred, she ignored it.

“Not really, no.” He shrugged. “Guess you’re the first one.”

“But that’s just stupid.” She spoke, taken aback. “You got some great ideas in there.”

“Machiavelli does the thinking, not me.”

“We don’t have a lot of philosophers on The Ark.” Her gaze was once again on the book, food forgotten on her plate. “We are so obsessed with surviving that we sometimes forget what else should survive with it. What’s the point of saving humanity if we lose its legacy?”

There was silence on his part as he eyed his plate, with a fork in hand. Then with a low voice, he asked. “So, you’re saying I should share it?”

“Absolutely.” She replied as though it was the simplest question she had ever heard. “Your ideas deserve to be heard.”

“Alright, I’ll think about it.”

The following minute was spent with discussing the book. Abby was so focused on the idea of it and his input that she would sometimes miss how excited he got over it. Then she would mention a paragraph and watch his eyes light up again, forgetting the dinner altogether.

“Who knew that the infamous Marcus Kane would be this into literature?” She asked surprised, getting up and gathering the empty plates. He asked if he could help but she silenced him with a gesture of her hand, telling him to sit down.

“Infamous?” He chuckled and yelled at her from the table. “So you just labeled me in your head as the bad guy and never stopped to think that I am a real person?”

She heard his voice from the kitchen and laughed. “Pretty much, yeah!”

“And here I thought you cared about people.” He replied.

She found herself unable to stop the smile on her lips. Dishes were already in her small sink but before she got back to the table, she looked up at the cupboard and without a second thought, grabbed the bottle of wine and two glasses.

“Yes, but you are not a person.” She made her way back to the table and placed the bottle in front of him. “You are… Kane.”

“Thank… you?” 

His reaction made her burst into another laughter the umpteenth time that night. She sat back down on her chair and watched him pour the deep red liquid into the glasses.

“And how about my book?” She took the glass he handed to her. “Have you read it?”

“I am certainly trying.” He took a sip from his own glass and watched her. “It was more difficult than I had imagined.”

“Yeah…” Her gaze fell down to the glass. “Told you that you wouldn’t be up for it.”

“On the contrary,” He replied. “I know that it is mainly on the improved clotting factors of hemophilia which is a condition, if I’m not mistaken, that takes place when blood can’t clot causing the patient to bleed out. What I’m trying to understand is the molecular approach that this book talks about.”

Abby swallowed as she watched him with wide eyes and parted lips. There it was. The rapid heartbeat and the butterflies. Shivers ran down her spine and everything else faded out. “So…you read it?”

“I am doing my best to understand.” Marcus took a sip, unaware of her stare on him. “Tell me, how exactly does its prophylaxis therapy work?”

“They uhm…” Her mouth was suddenly dry. “…require IV infusions and uhm… I’m sorry, I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that you have read it.”

“And you read mine.”

“Yes, but…”

“It means we are interested in each other’s books.”

Yes. More wine. This was definitely the time for some more wine. Abby felt like she needed to be so tipsy to the point that her mind would stop analyzing his words. She was reading too much into it for sure. She was making a big deal. It was just books.

She took a big sip.

The rest of the night was spent with surprisingly pleasant conversations and more drinking to the point that they arrived at a time where they couldn’t stop laughing.

Then around midnight, Marcus made an announcement on an issue she had forgotten long time ago. “Abby, I’m here because we are scheduled to… try again tonight, but,” He chuckled, louder this time. Alcohol making him way giddier than he usually was. “We didn’t actually do anything, aand it’s too late now.”

“Oops,” she laughed. “Do you need to go back?”

“I should.”

Her words were slurred, but who cared? She felt carefree for the first time in a long time. “Would you like to stay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a kudos or a comment on your way out, thank you very much for reading! cant believe how popular this story has gotten!


	5. Chapter 5

Abby’s head was spinning.

It was the familiar sensation of warmth, happiness and intoxication. Alcohol was her getaway. She always allowed herself a glass or two every week, just to sit back, breathe out and unwind. She liked the feeling alcohol brought, it helped her clear her head and if she had managed to end the night with no more than two glasses, she woke up with a fresh start. It numbed her and took her mind off of the dead husband and the lost daughter.

It helped her smile.

So, that’s why she always drank alone.

“Are you as drunk as I am?” She yelled out, reminding herself that this time, it was the opposite.

“You are drunker…” Marcus replied from the bathroom. “I am the soberest!”

Abby’s only answer was to laugh. Her comfort grew every minute Marcus spent in her room. The alienation they both had experienced the first time he took a step into her room was long gone, instead it was all jokes and laughter. She took pleasure in his presence and she had been glad when he’d agreed to stay.

“Do you think that…” He spoke once he was out of the bathroom. His jacket was off and now he stood by the threshold with a short sleeved shirt that caused Abby to lower her gaze down to his arms. “….that maybe, we should… not have been drinking and talking?”

“You mean like,” She yanked the covers off her bed. She was not letting Marcus Kane sleep in her daughter’s bed. “…we should have been..”

“ _Consummating_.” Marcus replied with a chuckle, the word rolled off his tongue like a joke. Because it was ridiculous. What was expected of them was ridiculous and now with the courage that alcohol brought, they were both able to express that without worry.

“Well, how did we forget! We were supposed to be going at it like rabbits, for the benefit of The Ark!” She joked and was glad to see him laugh along. It was not a matter to be joked about, but the comedy resided in difficult situations, like this one.

“The future of the human race lies in your uterus!”

“And your… manhood!”

Both of them blurted out a laugher at the word. Abby felt flushed, and she sat down on the bed still giggling. Marcus was still by the door of her bathroom, watching her. Then taking a deep breath, he walked up to her and sat down next to her on the bed.

“Look, Abby,” he said with a smile. “Don’t get me wrong,  I think you are a very attractive woman and any man would be lucky to have you. But… You once told me that I needed to tell you what turned me on, well…”

“Drinking wine and talking about hemophilia?” She giggled.

“Yeah…well, talking and spending time together. I can’t do this without getting to know you first.” He sighed and looked down on the ground, resting his elbows on his knees. “What they’re expecting us to do.. It’s stupid and I’m not that kinda man.”

She wanted to place a hand on his back, and if she was sober she would have refrained from it. However, she was feeling bold. So, she put a comforting hand on his shoulder and shifted closer to him on the bed. “Well, who knew I would have liked talking to Marcus Kane?”

“Without arguing.” He completed his sentence and they both chuckled.

“You know,” Her lips curved into a smile when a specific memory came to her mind. “Jaha asked me first.”

“Excuse me?” Marcus instantly looked up.

“He asked me to be his partner.” Abby was having difficulty stifling her laughter. She had been serious about it then but now that she thought about it, she could still remember his expression in detail. “I said no.”

“What?!” Marcus asked incredulously. He straightened his back and her hand fell off his shoulder. “You serious?” He asked with a chuckle. “I thought we were matched based on compatibility.”

“I…” Abby took a deep breath. What was she doing? This was classified information. “I had two matches… I chose you.”

Marcus froze. Abby immediately wished she could have her wine in her hand to take a generous sip but she turned her head, spotting her glass far away from her, on the table. Why must she share knowledge that was supposed to belong to her and her only? But now looking into Marcus’ warm, chocolate eyes, she immediately softened up, forgot why she even kept that information from him.

_Please don’t ask any more questions._

She did not know why she had chosen him. Thelonious was her friend, ever since they were kids. It was easy to talk to him, he would listen to her whenever she needed him to. He had also been a friend of Jake’s. Then, why Marcus? That was the question she did not know the answer to. If he were to demand an explanation, she would have none. There was something with Marcus, something hidden behind all those arguments.

Something about the way he addressed her, looked at her. He might have contradicted her whenever they faced each other in the council but there was a silent communication that took place buried under the words they spoke.

Just like the way he looked at her now. The mystery surfaced whenever she was alone with him. His presence filled her void.

Feeling her heart beat faster, she stood up and walked over to the table.

_Do not ask._

“Interested in getting drunker?” He chuckled from the bed.

She took a deep breath, relieved. The glass was clutched tightly in her hand. “ _’Drunker’_ is not a word.”

“So… Jaha, huh?” He leaned back with the comfort gained by lying in that same bed before. “Let me say, I’m not surprised.”

“You’re not?” She turned to him, taken aback.

“No. Everyone can see the way he looks at you.”

“And how does he look at me?” She leaned against the table.

“With… longing.”

Abby tried to match his gaze with no use. Marcus was staring straight ahead, avoiding her eyes. Lights flickered above them.

“And how do _you_ look at me?” These were dangerous waters. She was well aware of Jaha’s feelings towards her, she could see it every time he stared into her eyes. It always caused her to take a step back. However with Marcus, she was asking questions she knew she wasn’t supposed to. This part did not exist in their contract.

Marcus finally turned to look at her. He was worn out. “With curiosity.”

She swallowed and put her wine glass back on the table. Her palms were sweaty. The air around them shifted.

Just like the courtesy he had showed her earlier, she did not ask any more questions.

“Marcus,” She was still leaning against the table. Her voice shook when she pronounced his name and the words left her mouth before she could stop herself. “I think I would like to give it another try.”

He looked at her, really looked at her, then spoke with a low voice. “You sure?”

She nodded. Slow they’d said. It had been long enough. Every time she looked at him, she fantasized about another aspect of him. What was the point of taking something which her body craved slow?

Marcus stood up. Suddenly it was difficult to breathe. The air around them was thick and she watched him take tentative steps towards him. She did not move an inch. His gaze was hungry, and yet merciful. She had always admired his self-control. It did not come easy to her.

When there left a couple of steps between them, she found impatience taking over her. “I am sure.”

He was in front of her in a matter of seconds, then he crashed their lips together and she moaned into his mouth. His scent invaded her. Hands got lost in her hair for a moment, letting her braid loose and then moving down to pick her up.

Oh my God.

Her hair cascaded down her shoulders, falling over his face. He kissed her like it was the first and the last time as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. Her legs were around his hips when he carried to her bed and they both fell down on it together, him still on her. Everything about their exchange was quick, demanding as both of them avoided to waste any more time.

He tasted like wine and she yearned for more. It felt good, he felt amazing. She lost all coherent thought and threw her head back when he traced her jaw with his lips. His kisses trailed down her neck down to her cleavage.

His touch was sizzling, his kiss was intense. She let her eyelids flutter close and enjoyed his hands on her body, exploring. Seconds later he pulled back, supporting himself on his knees. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her to him and she sat up with a gasp. Her shirt was gone right after.

Cold air hit her body and she fell back on the bed, finding Marcus on her once more. Every move of his took place in a rush and she was glad. She encouraged him. She didn’t know if she could wait any longer. His mouth was on the skin between her bra clad breasts and her hands got lost in his hair. Both of them were out of breath, lost in the heat of the moment.

He was taking his time. He was fast but he was also too slow. She wanted him everywhere. Her heart was racing so she grabbed his hand resting on her abdomen and moved it lower, where she needed it to be.

When he palmed the spot between her legs, she allowed herself to let out a luxurious moan and felt his lips move up until they met hers. His kiss was sloppy, hot and a little awkward. They were a mess. She was sweaty all over and yet she craved more, rubbing herself against her hand so he would give her what she needed.

“Now, now, now, please…” She whispered and he moved lower. It took seconds for him to take her pants off, taking her panties with them. She was suddenly left bare and realized how incredibly wet she was. She was throbbing with need and groaned when he palmed her.

God…

Just…

And then his lips were on her and she screamed. She was never a screamer. It felt like quenching a thirst she never would have thought be satisfied. Her legs spread wider apart and he licked her clit, tasting her, drinking her in. One hand clutched the sheets and the other got lost in his hair.

“Oohh…” She  panted. Her voice was hoarse, strained from the voices she was making. It was involuntary, she couldn’t help it. Her mind was numb, her body was alive. She rubbed herself against his mouth, eager for more as she softly begged him to speed up.

He sucked her there and moved lower to enter her with his tongue. His hands gripped her hips tight so she would stay calm, allowing him to finish her off. Then he slipped two fingers into her wetness.

“Ah!” She covered her mouth with her palm, a gestured she had gotten used to by having a sex life all the while raising a young kid. It was unnecessary now but the habit wouldn’t let go of her. She stifled her moans, looked down to watch Marcus. When she met his gaze, she blushed, bit down on her lower lip and let her head fall back on the mattress again.

“Let go…” He whispered.

“No… we need to…”

“This is what I like.” He kissed her there, pumping his fingers in and out. Then he gently bit her inner thigh. “Let go for me.”

Her protests lacked importance for she felt her body giving into him. He put his lips back on her, lapping and sucking her folds. The pressure was building up in her lower abdomen and she had trouble controlling her hips.

She laughed, she cried, she screamed into her pillow and when she came, she was repeating his name like a prayer. Her entire body tingled beneath his touch and he continued sucking until she was beginning him to stop because ohh it was too sensitive.

She was lost in the sensation he brought her. Her legs slowly fell back on the mattress and she felt him climb up on her body, though unable to react to it. Her senses burned, her fingers were numb. She wasn’t even sure if she could move her body.

He placed a kiss on her lips and she responded out of reflex. Then he laid next to her and she was left staring at the ceiling.

It took her a couple of minutes to come down from her high. When she did, her immediate reaction was to turn to him with an absent minded smile on her lips.

“Hmm…” She hummed, unsure whether she was allowed to move in closer.

“You liked it?” He chuckled from beside her and turned to his side, supporting himself on his elbow.

“What do you think?” Her voice was hoarse and she suddenly felt naked. Looking down, she saw her body clad only in a bra. Suddenly feeling shy, she reached down and put the covers up to her waist.

“I think you were enjoying yourself.” He was still fully clothed but his shirt was untucked and his hair was a mess.

“Didn’t know that…” She cleared her throat. He was playing with her hair. “Didn’t know that you were into that sorta thing.”

“Well, how would you know? We were never more than coworkers.”

“Except for…”

“I know.”

They did not talk about that.

She shook her head, no point in reminiscing old memories. She still felt dizzy from the ecstasy he had brought her and suddenly turned to him, feeling playful.

“Do you wanna…” She looked down at his pants then back at his eyes. They had agreed to take it slow but after what he had given her, she was ready to return the favor.

He chuckled. His gaze was still on his fingers in her hair. “Let it breathe.”

“This is not wine.” She rolled her eyes.

“No…” He bit down on his lip. “It tastes better.”

She let out a laugh, feeling herself blush once more. “You don’t have to flirt with me.”

“I like flirting with you.”

“Since when?”

“Since always.” He pursed his lips. “I don’t get to do it often though.”

“Well then,” She smiled. “I think this gives you permission to do it as much as you like.”

“Abby?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m glad you chose me.”

She closed her eyes and swallowed. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love every single one of you for reading, liking and leaving a comment!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a 8 am class, its 1 am, what am i doing

She woke up different.

Groggy as ever, she shut her eyes once more, forcing herself to catch up on just a few more hours of sleep. She was used to waking up different. The comfort of uninterrupted sleep had never reached her. Her nights were filled with tossing and turning, with grief over her husband, worry over her daughter.

However, this was a different feeling of discomfort.

It had been ages since she had last slept next to someone.

She didn’t need to open her eyes to know that he was there, next to her. His scent invaded her nostrils, she could feel him.

The bed was big enough for them both. Locating the courage deep within herself, she allowed herself to slowly open her eyes. He was there, laying just a few inches away from her. What she did not expect was to find him awake, staring at the ceiling.

“You’re up already?” She spoke with a whisper, still too early in the morning for her to be using her voice.

“Just for about ten minutes.” He swallowed. The sheets were draped halfway over his body, up to his waist. His t shirt from last night still remained. “I am not used to sleeping in someone else’s room… No offense.”

“And, I am not used to sleeping with a man lying next to me…” She chuckled when she saw his smile. “No offense.”

“None taken. It’s good to know I’m not alone.”

“Maybe we should…”

“It’s different, but,” he turned to her. “I will get used to it.”

She took in a breath and stared at him. Marcus Kane first thing in the morning was a lot less… serious and intimidating. He looked a lot softer, his features relaxed. He was her opposite, a morning person.

She blushed, and then looked down at her body. Lying on her side, she realized she was still clad in the bra from last night, the rest of her completely bare. The only thing keeping Marcus from witnessing her nakedness was the thin sheet over her. Suddenly she felt embarrassed.

“I should…” She started, but she did not know what to do next. This whole morning felt awfully like a one-night stand.

“You don’t regret it, do you?” He asked after a beat.

“I can’t possibly regret something I am being forced to do.”

“Abby,” Her name on his lips made her stop. “You know what I mean,” He supported himself on his elbow and looked at her. “I know this is something we have to do, but I am trying to make you feel comfortable at every step of the way. Please tell me it’s working.”

She couldn’t help it. The smile was involuntary. It formed immediately after he uttered his words and suddenly she was filled with warmth towards the man she once hated. The notion of leaving the bed and locating her underwear was now forgotten. She settled comfortably under the sheets and looked at him.

“You know, all those years fighting you, disagreeing you, and opposing everything you did, never have I imagined that you would be like… this.”

“A softie?” He chuckled.

“A decent human being… Makes me wish I’d have got to know you sooner.”

He evaded her gaze. She found it adorable, and this time didn’t stop to question what was wrong with her. She was used to the element of surprise when it concerned Marcus.

“Then why didn’t you?”

She swallowed and looked down. Why? Because opportunities just passed you by. Sometimes, you would feel so safe in your comfort zone that the risk facing you every morning with a smirk on his face would be too dangerous to explore. Maybe, it had been too late when you had opened your eyes.

Those times did exist. Times when you were sure that the very path you were committed to turned out to be the one of which you were blind to its wonders. Jake was her safe haven. Jake had been her reality. And, she was so invested in being successful and taking control that she had opposed to what life showed her. Because damn it, Jake was who she had chosen, and she had refused to be dragged into something she couldn’t see the end of.

There ceased to be light in the darkness that was Marcus.

“Look at you, being all emotional.” She forced a chuckle instead.

“Would you prefer the asshole half of me because I can assure you-“

“Well…” Her hand went to his bare arm. God, why was it so difficult to stop touching him? “…I really don’t mind, especially during meetings where you get soo angry that you…”

“Me what?” He inched closer to her on the bed, still supporting himself upon his elbow on the bed. She lay on her side, looking up at him. His free hand played with the edge of the sheet that was draped over her, as though he was ready to pull the material aside any minute.

“You take your jacket off…”

“And?” His hungry gaze roamed over her.

She inched closer to him, letting her hand rest on his chest. “…and you roll up your sleeves…”

He was impossible to resist. She fisted the material of his shirt and pulled him down at her, capturing his lips with hers. The kiss reminded her of last night and she instantly relaxed in his arms, not minding the morning breath at all. The fire between her legs was slowly coming back to life.

He chuckled against her lips. “You know…”

“Hmm…” She moaned into him, thinking she could get used to this.

“This line of talk…” he kissed her once more. “…makes me think that….” She kissed him. “…your attraction towards me is not… new at all.”

“No,” She giggled, “Not since last week.”

“Yeah, but,” he let her pull his body to hers once more, feeling her drape a leg over his hip. “…I meant, it dates way back.”

She froze and pulled herself away a few inches to be able to gaze into his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’ve wanted to do this since before we were matched up.” He smiled. “I am saying that you’ve always had a thing for me.”

She snorted. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” His smile grew. “You were watching me during council meetings? All those arguments? Discussions? There was never hatred, were there?”

Her mind lost all function. Suddenly she found herself appalled; astounded that he thought what they were doing now had a history on its own. No, this was strictly because they were obliged to do it, it was nowhere near voluntary. And, if she had developed an attraction to Marcus Kane, it took place in this week only, not before.

“No, no, no. I _did_ hate you.”  She pulled back further, clutching the sheet against her chest. “The arguments were real, Marcus. I never wanted to secretly have sex with you, if that’s what you think.”

“Then what’s this attention paid delicately to my body?”

She did not respond, instead sat up in a haze, her eyes desperately searching for her underwear. She had neither the time nor the energy for this discussion. There was no meaning under those heated arguments, and she refused to stop and ponder otherwise. No, she did hate him.

“Abby, you can’t hate someone and lust after them at the same time. Just admit it!”

She slipped the underwear on under the sheets, making sure that Marcus wasn’t taking a peek. Not that he would, he was too busy arguing with her like he always did. Once that it was safe, she got out of the bed.

“I can’t admit to something that doesn’t exist.” She turned to him, not minding the fact that she was practically half naked. “You were a complete jerk, I absolutely loathed you. Only when the Ark was dying did I see the humanity in you, and only when we were paired up did I start to like you. There is no history between us.”

“But, how about the time-“

“You promised you were _not_ going to bring that up.”

He fell silent. She felt herself filling up with rage as her hands started to shake. How dare he use that against her? It was the only black mark in her life of success. Why did he insist on reminding her of her mistakes?

“I didn’t, not when he was alive.” He spoke quietly.

And she hated the fact that he was right. However, that did not stop her from storming into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her right after.

“Abby, please!” Marcus’ voice was closer now. She could tell he’d left the bed, standing at the other end of the door. “Open the door!”

“Not unless you change your mind!”

“I can’t, Abby! You know, it’s true!”

She opened the door so quickly that Marcus jumped at the other end. “It’s not!”

“It is so!”

“I said, it is not.” Her fist was so tight on the doorknob that her knuckles turned white. Anger caused her to lose all sorts of rational thinking.

“It is so! Just admit it!”

“I’d rather float myself!”

“You wouldn’t!” He gasped, taken aback.

“I would too!”

“No, you wou-

There was a sharp knock on the door. “Abby, you there?”

Both of them froze. Abby looked at Marcus with a questioning gaze but he was just as clueless as she was. Then she looked at their outfits; her in underwear, him in a t-shirt and boxers.

There was another knock. “Abby, are you available?”

“Shit, it’s Thelonious!” She announced, immediately walking past Marcus to locate her shirt.

“What, what’s he doing in your quarters this early in the morning?”

“How am I supposed to know, Marcus?”

She threw him his pants and it hit him in the chest.

“Get dressed,” she spoke quickly, putting her own pants on herself. “I don’t want him to see us like-

“Like what? By law, this is what we’re supposed to be doing. Doesn’t he know that we’re scheduled?”

“Yes, but are we really doing what we’re supposed to be doing?” She finished zipping up her trousers. “Hurry up!”

There was another knock on the door.

Abby gazed at Marcus. It was a sin for that man to be dressed. However, that was the least of her worries.

She walked up to the door as soon as Marcus was done putting his pants on. Clearing her throat, she opened the door with a smile so bright that it held the power to blind whoever was facing her.

“Abby,” Jaha’s face lit up upon seeing her.

“Thelonious,” She smiled. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

It was early in the morning and not all citizens had the privilege of getting a visit from the chancellor. He looked almost hopeful and Abby sought to find meaning in his expression.

“I know that today is the day that you and uhm… Anyway, just wanted to check in and see how is everything and-“

“Good morning, sir.” Marcus came up from behind and Abby immediately shut her eyes close as if she wanted to avoid the exchange that would follow this greeting.

“Ah, Kane.” Jaha nodded, his face immediately falling. “You are here.”

“Of course, not being here would be disobeying the very bill you’ve passed, sir.”

Abby rolled her eyes. Marcus knew his way around words. He knew how to manipulate the sentences so the other party had no choice but to nod and take whatever it was Marcus gave. At that very moment, Marcus was giving Jaha shit. However, he was doing it very gracefully.

“Right.” Jaha nodded, because what else would the man do, Abby thought. Marcus was right. He couldn’t just establish a bylaw of consummation and not expect them to disobey it because of his high school crush.

“So,” Jaha cleared his throat. “How is everything going?”

Abby did not know whether she wanted to answer that question or not. No, she absolutely did not. But she knew staring blankly at the Chancellor’s face was not her best option either.

Thankfully, Marcus was quick on his feet. “Smoothly.”

Abby held back a laugh. She smiled politely instead.

“We are doing everything we can.” Marcus spoke from behind her and one of his hands went to her waist. “We haven’t encountered any problems so far, and I believe we are exactly on schedule.”

She frowned but smiled anyway. “Yes… that is… correct.”

“Oh…” Jaha’s face fell. “So, how often do you two exactly-“

“Almost every day, I believe.” Marcus continued. “I am lucky to be working with someone like Abby. She was very cooperative and… versatile in every way.”

That man.

Abby visibly swallowed and tried not to reflect the screaming in her head to her smile. Marcus was way over the line, but technically he hadn’t been disrespectful at all. He was cunning…

However, all her thoughts died down in her mind when she got to witness Jaha’s reaction to all that. His smile was forced and Abby was sure his voice shook a little when he spoke.

“Ah, well…” He evaded his gaze. “I am glad…”

Abby just smiled. Because if she stopped smiling, she was sure the first action she’d take would be violence towards Marcus.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then…”

“Absolutely.” Marcus nodded with a polite smile. “We’ll see you in the meeting, sir.”

Polite farewells were exchanged but Abby was way too focused on what had happened that she did not utter a single word until Jaha left and the door was closed behind him. Only when she was alone with Marcus, she allowed herself to speak… no, react.

“What THE HELL?!

“Abby,-“

“Don’t _Abby_ me. Marcus, since when are you in a piss fight with the Chancellor?”

“I am not, actually-“

“Spare me the excuses.” She walked into the room and leaned against the table. He sat down on the bed. “You lied to him.”

There was silence on his end. Instead he stared straight ahead, avoiding to meet her gaze. “He is in love with you.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” He turned to her. “Why do you even call him by his first name? He is the Chancellor for God’s sake.”

“Exactly. That’s why you’re not supposed to lie to him.”

“Me?” He chuckled. “I didn’t see you objecting to my story.”

“What is this?” She asked after a beat, not afraid to raise her voice. “Another argument? Are you sure _you’re_ not the one who gets off from our fights?”

Because yes, pushing his buttons right now was the best strategy she could come up with.

“You’re confusing me with yourself.”

“Don’t fool yourself, Marcus.” She didn’t know if she was pissed or annoyed. She knew one thing; she was determined to prove him wrong. How dare that man make assumptions about her? “The only reason we’re doing _this_ ,” she gestured between them, “is because we were ordered to do so. I had never secretly liked you.”

“Sure, whatever makes you sleep at night…”

God, why couldn’t she just kill him already? Oh wait, they were supposed to repopulate the Ark, not reduce its current population…

“I do this because I have to.”

“No, you do it because you’ve been wanting to…”

“Fine.”

“Fine?” He looked up in surprise.

“I will prove it.”

“Abby, no…” He chuckled. “As much as I love our arguments, this will just cause another delay in our already difficult situation and I-“

“I can resist you.”

“Geez…” Marcus leaned back with a hand on his forehead.

“You think I can’t?”

“No, Abby. Frankly, I don’t think you can, not at all.”

“Well…” What was she doing? This was absolutely not a good idea. First of all, they needed to get to it as soon as possible. He was right, they couldn’t afford to have any other delays. Not to mention the fact that she didn’t even know herself if she could?? She liked how he made her feel. Was it a good idea to resist it?

But, oh the things she would do to knock that smug smile off his face…

So defying all logic, she found herself saying; “You’ll see”.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Roland Barthes - Fragments d'un Discours Amoureux.
> 
> "Je t'aime est dans ma tête, mais je l'emprisonne derrière mes lèvres. Je ne profère pas. Je dis silencieusement à qui n'est plus ou n'est pas encore l'autre: je me retiens de vous aimer."

_17 years ago…_

_White._

_The color of innocence, purity, completion, happiness…_

_White is the shade brides choose for the happiest day of their lives. It is the tradition of the Earth, a norm followed by women for hundreds of years until the day they all became extinct._

_The tradition continued on the Ark. Not the ostentatious, lace gowns with pearls embroidered in them perhaps, but the color itself remained sacred. The dress carried importance. Brides remained true to the culture._

_So did Abby._

_Hers was a simple dress, knee length, sleeveless, plain yet elegant. The white might not have been pure as it once was, given how tough life was in space, but the grayish hue still gave meaning to the dress. The color might have faded but the meaning didn’t. She wore it with pride, knowing it meant to show the people it was indeed the happiest day of her life. Her smile never ceased to exist._

_The ceremony was over in a haze._

_Hours later, she was Mrs. Griffin._

_The wedding night approached like a lion did to its prey. The first night she would spend as a married woman intimidated her. It symbolized change. She did not know if she was ready for it. Happiness was mandatory, doubt inexcusable._

_It had been convenient when Jake’s friends had called him over for a one last nightcap. It’d been a delayed bachelor’s party taken on a different form. She had agreed and Jake had left, dropping a loving kiss on her cheek and telling her he couldn’t wait to see her in their bedroom. Chills had ran down her spine and she’d told him she’d be with Callie, going over the details of the night like two excited school girls._

_She did not go to Callie. Instead, she grabbed some scotch –a drink that had never been her first choice, and went to the observation room._

_Even though it was probably the most beautiful place on the Ark (mostly according to her, really, not a lot of people shared her enthusiasm), the room was not huge. It wasn’t overly decorated. People came here for only one purpose in their minds; to watch the radiation filled Earth fester down below. The Ark orbited the blue globe and it had been always open to public since Abby could remember._

_The room was empty, probably because it was too late in the night. People had lives, no one came in there unless during a particularly melancholic night._

_Abby made sure to close the door after her, though she did not lock it._

_The light shone upon her face. The Earth still reflected the Sun and it spun torturously slow before her, so big, massive and full of wonders._

_Gaze fixated on the planet, she walked into the room and sat down on the short, horizontal platform, raised up high from the ground so the guests could use it as some form of a bench. Her seat was cold, that particular room had never been carefully heated._

_Filling her glass with the amber liquid, she placed the bottle on the floor and stared ahead, taking a slow sip. The alcohol burned her throat, but she forced herself to swallow._

_She was so lost in thought that she did not notice the door cracking open and someone making their way in._

_“It’s beautiful,” muttered the voice behind her and she turned around to find Marcus Kane, standing and looking straight ahead into the space._

_She sighed and turned back around. “It’s poisonous.”_

_“Poison and beauty can exist together.”_

_Abby scoffed and took another sip. It was the classic Marcus, always had an answer for everything… and always so poetic. He always did hate that element of himself, but the trait had passed onto him from his mother._

_“Why don’t you take a seat, Marcus?” She retorted instead, because she had nothing else to say. Also, she was getting annoyed by him just standing there, lurking in her shadow._

_He did what he was told. Once he was seated next to her, just a few inches away, she turned to examine him. Dressed in all black, Marcus was on duty. He had been recruited by security a year ago, and he did a wonderful job. Despite his young age, he was already a commanding officer, climbing the ranks like a professional._

_It had surprised Abby back in school when Marcus chose to be on the defense team. She had always imagined him as a scholar… or maybe someone in the council. He would do a good job in the council, she thought. Then she shook her head, she did not know Marcus that well._

_“Aren’t you supposed to be on duty?” She asked after a beat._

_“I am.” He leaned forward, placing both elbows on his knees. “But every day around this time, The Earth spins around to reveal the Americas. That’s where our station is from. If I can, I ask Miller to cover for me and I come here to watch.”_

_She nodded ever so slowly and took another sip. She did not know at what time you could see which continent from the observation room, no, that information was researched and gained solely by him._

_Then he asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be at your wedding?”_

_Ah, he always knew the right questions to ask. Always been like that in school too._

_“That’s uhm…” She swallowed and looked away. “That’s a great question you don’t need the answer to.”_

_“Right…” He nodded._

_“Why didn’t you come?”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“To the wedding, I mean. Jake likes you, he invited you.” Marcus was Jake’s friend, not hers. Though she wouldn’t use the term ‘best friends’, Jake liked Marcus, always talked fondly of him. Abby had always been a distant observer when it came to Marcus. On some days, she wanted to approach him but something inside always forced her away._

_Sometimes they would make eye contact, and neither of them would avert their gaze. They would hold it approximately five to six seconds before one of them finally giving up and looking away. Though, none of them referred to it in the rare times they did talk._

_“I’m sorry, Jake is a good friend, but,” Marcus’ voice was soft, apologetic. “I don’t know if I really wanted to be there.”_

_She did not question him further. Instead she opted to look away, taking another sip. Scotch was getting easier to drink now that she had acquired the taste for it. She began to feel the familiar buzz. Then taking a deep breath, she reached for the bottle; poured some more into her glass and then handed it to Marcus._

_He took the bottle from her with curiosity, examined it before taking a sip and nodding._

_They sat there together in silence._

_The moment they shared might have been a quiet one, but her mind refused the silence. Thoughts raced in her head. Excitement and yet something that she’d call sadness existed together, and she did not know why. She should have been happy. However, she wasn’t. Guilt washed over her and she found herself glad that Jake was away with his friends to witness what she was going through._

_For a moment, she appreciated Marcus’ presence. He was a stranger, which eventually made him safe._

_“Can we be…” She stuttered because essentially she didn’t even know what she wanted to say or how she wanted to say it. “Is it possible to be happy and sad at the same time?”_

_“Are you feeling happy and sad at the same time?” Was his cocky reply._

_“Just answer the question.”_

_He took a deep breath as though he was reminiscing old memories. “In my opinion… love and melancholy are always intertwined.”_

_When she turned to him and frowned, he continued. “There’s a theory that says the moment we experience happiness,” then he turned to her to enunciate the next word, “…or love, it is so sudden, distinct and abrupt that, it quickly becomes a memory. The moment happens and you already start mourning the fact that the moment will end.”_

_“So, you’re saying that I am happy because I am in love, but sad because I know it will end?”_

_“It is the question of loss that causes sorrow to… violate your happiness.” He took a sip from the bottle, his words spoken so casually as though he gave life lessons to her all the time._

_“But, what if I’m thinking ‘What could have been…’” She replied, refusing to meet his gaze. The earth spun so gracefully before them. They were already facing the Pacific, the Americas being engulfed into the darkness._

_“Then you have already lost it.”_

_She reflected on his words for a moment. Her next sentence was uttered because she was drunk, and because Marcus looked so handsome in the evening light._

_“I am pregnant.”_

_His reaction was to blink a few times. Raising his eyebrows in surprise, he turned to her then watched the glass in her hand. “You are the doctor here, but maybe you should not be drinking.”_

_“I am thinking about… letting it go.” Because the a-word was too painful to utter._

_“What does Jake thi-“_

_“Jake doesn’t know.”_

_“You haven’t told anyone?” He asked quietly, though it sounded more like a statement._

_Abby nodded._

_Her mind which had been screaming loudly in her head minutes ago was now dead silent. She couldn’t move, couldn’t think. She did nothing but sit, without a sound and an occasional sip from her drink._

_Marcus allowed her a moment or two. The most they had talked up until that conversation had been about the weather, and the deepest moment they’d shared had been the occasional staring. Now, here she was, telling him her most profound secret. He allowed it to breathe._

_“Do you not want to be a mother?” He asked quietly._

_“I don’t think I’ll make a good one.” Because this was honesty in its rawest form. Because Marcus didn’t judge. Because she felt as though she could tell him anything and it wouldn’t leave this room._

_“If I…” He sighed and brought a hand to his face. He had a two day old stubble and he scratched the side of his jaw. “If I were to have a child with anyone on the Ark… I would want it to be with you.”_

_She froze, taken aback and turned to give him an incredulous look. “Excuse me?”_

_“You heard me, I won’t repeat it.” He took another sip from the bottle, eyes staring straight ahead. He winced when the alcohol burned his throat. “I don’t know anyone else who is more suited for this than you are.”_

_“I… Thank you.”_

_“And if you want to abort the only child you might ever have, then may God save humanity…”_

_Abby paused. Not because she sought meaning behind his words, but because for the first time in her life, she took time to appreciate this man. Her breathing had softened. She could feel herself beginning to calm down. The terror inside of her was already dying down._

_“Well,” she sucked in a breath. “It’s good that the child isn’t yours then. Think of the traits he would have…”_

_“Oh God, we’d create a disaster.” He chuckled. “With my stubbornness and your anarchy…”_

_“Oh no, it would be horrible.” She laughed along with him; glass in her hand long forgotten._

_Then there was silence._

_And she saw longing in his eyes._

_“Do you want kids?” She asked._

_“…Someday.” He replied. “I don’t know with whom though, now that you are taken.”_

_It was meant to be a joke, she could tell. However, the aura changed around them the moment he said the words, making her stop and turn to him once more._

_“I don’t think Jake would appreciate you saying that on my wedding night.” With a smile on her face, she tried to lighten up the mood._

_“I don’t think Jake would hear about this.” He mirrored her sentence and gave her a knowing look._

_She hated how right he always was. She hated how he knew how right he always was. Because she wouldn’t. This wasn’t a piece of information she would share with Jake._

_Just like how she wouldn’t mention anything about drinking alone with Marcus Kane on her wedding day. It was their private moment, and it deserved to stay theirs._

_“When are you going back?” He asked after a beat._

_“Whenever I’m ready.” It sounded ridiculous, so she added. “It’s funny how everything feels like it’s my first time.”_

_It was difficult to breathe. Anticipation built up in her chest and even the thought of facing her husband made her breathing quicken. It wasn’t Jake Abby was afraid of. It was the lies. It was the notion of starting a new life with a man she hid so much from. Perhaps she hid from herself. She did not know._

_“Is the alcohol making it any easier?” He gestured the glass in her hand._

_She clutched it tightly and swung the glass ever so slowly to the left and to the right, watching the liquid come close to the edge. She made sure not to spill, but it was the risk of it she liked to watch._

_“A little.” She did not take another sip, she wouldn’t, not after the conversation they just had. However, she was still not ready to let it go._

_“Were you drinking before your first time too?” He questioned, still staring straight ahead. Then turning to her, he added quickly. “Your first kiss, I mean.”_

_Of course, because it wasn’t like Marcus to ask her about the time she’d lost her virginity. She chuckled, but reflected on the fact that she would perhaps tell him if he had asked. But the idea of her first kiss was a lot more innocent and… romantic._

_Then she thought about the kiss._

_“I shouldn’t have been.” She chuckled and closed her eyes. Did she even remember the name of the boy? No, they were so very young, so very reckless and ruthless._

_Under the pretense of smoothing out the wrinkles on her dress, she shifted on the seat and slid closer to him._

_Completely involuntarily._

_The room was getting colder. She shivered._

_“What happened?” His voice was gruff and rich, low pitched to the point that she had to lean in close to hear him._

_“We… snuck into the storage room in the cafeteria. I remember being nervous. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to explode.” She giggled at the thought, suddenly finding herself among the grey memories. “It’s strange…”_

_“What is?” His gaze did not leave hers._

_“It felt exactly like how it feels now.”_

_Perhaps she was not aware of what she had just confessed. Perhaps she was way too drunk. Perhaps she wasn’t._

_“Then what happened?” His voice was an octave lower now, and he straightened his back to get a better look at her._

_“He was… taller than me.” She swallowed and opened her eyes. He was close to her. Their knees touched and she licked her lips, feeling like she was in a trance. “He… cupped my cheek, and he kissed me softly.”_

_Staring right into the depths of her brown eyes, he lifted his free hand to her face, the ghost of his touch making her shiver. Then he cupped her cheek, and just like in her memories, he bent down to place the softest of kisses on her lips._

_Her eyelids fluttered close, and she tasted the faint aroma of scotch on his lips. It felt like the touch of a delicate flower, and he pulled away before she could part her lips._

_“Like that?” His voice was hoarse and his eyes were heavy._

_“Hm-mm.” She hummed, still holding onto the fairytale she was in. “Then, he kissed me again.” She whispered._

_Marcus leaned into her once more, capturing her lips. She sucked in a deep breath, inhaling his scent. Her free hand came to rest on his chest. This time, she did part her lips and he kissed her properly, deeply like she deserved to be kissed._

_He pulled away. Her heart shattered into pieces._

_“Abby,” He breathed out. “God, I’m so sorr-“_

_No, she wasn’t ready to face reality yet._

_So she shut him up by grabbing his collar and pulling his body to hers. Their lips crashed together, and she moaned into his mouth. Her mind went numb. His hand found the curve of her neck, holding her close as he explored her mouth with his tongue. It was felt heavenly, delicious, and divine. She pulled away, teased his bottom lip with her tongue, bit down onto it and then resumed kissing him._

_Her heart was racing in her chest, and she forgot about the glass in her hand. The liquid spilt on his lap and it only encouraged him. His kisses grew urgent and hungry as she pulled him closer._

_Then it hit her._

_She pushed him away. “Oh, God…”_

_Their heavy breathing filled the silence. She closed her eyes, and put a hand on her forehead as if she tried to prevent a big migraine from forming. No, no, no, no._

_Shit…_

_“Abby,” Marcus licked his lips, the bottle still clutched tightly against his fingers; he put his free hand, which had just been exploring her neck, on her shoulder._

_“Oh my God…” She mumbled, shifting away from him. What had she done…_

_“Abby, look,”_

_“No… Don’t.” She pulled away from his touch._

_Marcus dropped his hand and winced. “Abby, I’m sorry.”_

_“No, it’s not your fault.” No, please. Don’t cry. “It’s not your fault.” She repeated._

_Because it wasn’t. It was hers._

_She was the one who had run away from her husband on her wedding night. She was the one who lied to him. She was the one who got drunk and made out with Marcus._

_Suddenly the weight of her dress was too heavy to carry. Suddenly, she felt disgusted._

_“It’s not yours either.” Marcus replied, and Abby watched from the corner of her eye as he took a big swing from the bottle. He was numbing himself. The gravity of their action hit him hard._

_What a tragedy._

_“God…” She stood up abruptly. Placing the glass on her seat, she took a step back and faced Marcus. Light shined from behind her, causing her face to be buried into darkness. “You are not to speak of this to anyone.”_

_“Of course not…”_

_“Not unless one among three of us dies.” She thought of Marcus’s death. She thought of her own. Then she thought of Jake’s. No, it was too soon._

_“No, I wouldn’t dream of it.” He nodded, looking up at her._

_The fate of her marriage lied in the hands of this man. Her future was his ability to keep a secret. Suddenly, she felt drained. It was all too much. Now going into the room where their big bed awaited her was unthinkable._

_“Abby…” He reached out to her once more._

_She took another step, this time towards the door. She held out her hand. He got the message, and stopped talking._

_It took seconds._

_She was gone. So were their possibilities._


	8. Chapter 8

“Can we talk?”

“Hmm?”

“Abby, please.”

“Oh…” Abby raised her head from her book in a nonchalant way. “It’s you.”

She was lying. She had noticed him the moment he had walked through the doors of the meeting room.

“Of course, it’s me.” Marcus rolled his eyes. “Who else?”

“I didn’t realize, I was just so interested in this book that I didn’t have a chance to-“

“I read the book too, you know…” He sighed. “Hemophilia is not all that captivating.”

She exhaled through her nose and shut her eyes close. Classic Marcus, always had an answer for everything. She looked back up again. “What can I do for you?”

There was still a little time until the meeting commenced, and the room hosted two more council members other than Marcus and Abby. However the councilors, knowing better, minded their own business.

Marcus pulled the chair right next to hers close enough that they could not be eavesdropped and sat down, leaning into her.

She took in a deep breath. “That’s not your chair.”

“How long are you willing to keep this up?”

She forced her eyes to get back to the book and trying her best to seem careless, started reading. Except of course she was not reading, she was just looking at the words. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t you?” He licked his lips and leaned into her even further, making sure to keep his voice low. “Because there is only one topic that concerns only the two of us.”

“Oh…” She exhaled, knowing that avoiding the issue was no longer an option. “That.”

“Abby, please. Let’s put an end to it.”

“Not unless you accept that you are wrong.”

He was a fool if he had thought that this approach would work. It was simple. She considered it her duty to prove to Marcus that no, whatever it was taking place between them was fairly recent. There were no previous feelings, no previous attraction and no previous sentiments. Sure, Marcus was a handsome man, but she still had her dignity intact.

She was not some sex crazed widow, and she could prove that she could abstain from sex (sex with _him_ ) if she very well wanted to, thank you very much.

“How about _you_ admit to your infatuation?”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “There is no infatuation!”

Upon hearing the tone of her voice, the other two councils looked up to throw them curious looks. Marcus silenced them with his own.

“Look, Abby,” he whispered turning back to her, his elbows on his knees. “I am not accusing you of anything, I’m not saying you did anything wrong. These things are perfectly normal, I just want you to admit that-“

“Marcus, this might be difficult for you to see due to the fact that your gigantic ego clouds your judgment, but I did _no_ t like you.”

“You didn’t have to like me to… _like_ me.” He enunciated the word, meeting her gaze.

He was at an incredible close proximity and for a second, she felt herself forgetting the rest of the world to drown herself in the warmth of his eyes. The way he addressed her was so intense that it was difficult to look away.

But she would not cave. “You are wrong.”

“How about our… agenda then? Our duty?”

“On hold until the next notice.” She returned to her book, and continued to stare at the shapes that made up the letters.

“Seriously?” He raised his eyebrows and straightened his back. His knee touched her leg when he did. “Proving me wrong matters to you more than the survival of the human race?”

“Precisely.”

“And you call me the stubborn one…” He sighed and brought a hand to his forehead. His stubble was growing nicely and it was very becoming on him. “And how do you plan on doing it? Resisting my every move?”

“That’s about right, yeah.”

She was at a crossroads where her brain and her body yearned to follow two different paths. Uttering the words seemed effortless, but angling her legs away from him every time his knee touched hers proved to be a lot more difficult task. To top it all off, there came the guilt caused by this inner dilemma. She felt as though she was lying, but her mind was too proud to admit it.

She did not know of their past. Maybe she hated him, maybe she didn’t. But she knew one thing; resisting him was beyond the bounds of possibility. Her attempts were futile, her thoughts were useless.

Her body was the angry mob under the reign of an oppressive king. It needed to find release or it would burn the very system that confined it to the ground.

“Why are you doing this?” He sounded desperate.

“Because I am right.”

“Is this your idea of foreplay?” There it was; that smug smile that broke the hearts of dozens.

“Are you not up for the challenge?”

“I didn’t even know that there was one.”

“When was it never.” The ambiguity in her words was too powerful to ignore. He nodded, and she turned her gaze back to her book that served merely as a decor.

The silence that followed filled itself with everything they could have said but didn’t. It carried the possibility of confession, and yet both their determination kept the moment from happening.

“Would you like to come to my quarters tonight?”

“I thought we always met in mine.” She countered as quickly as she could.

“It would be nice to have a change of air.” He shrugged and leaned forward onto the table. His eyes were no longer on her, and that irritated her more than she cared to admit.

“Sure, why not.” She replied nonchalantly. “Nothing will happen between us until you admit that you were wrong… But I don’t see the harm in spending an evening together.”

“I agree.” He nodded.

“Of course, I will not be spending the night.”

“Of course not.”

“I mean it, Marcus.”

“I know you do, Abby.”

However, he smiled. He did smile. And it was enough to distract her for the rest of the meeting.

#

Marcus Kane was a very smart man.

Marcus was cunning, manipulative and sneaky. He knew the gravity of the situation, and he knew how to turn the tables around. Abby was too preoccupied regarding their battle at the time being that she had forgotten about the long-term strategy of their war.

She watched her steps as she walked. It was all she could think of. He was intelligent; he knew what was going to happen.

Telling him she could resist to his advances meant that the ball was in his court. That was part of her plan. However, playing the rest of the game from inside his court wasn’t. He had invited her to his place for a reason. Abby was struck with his ulterior motive the second she had left her own quarters. She was nervous, excited and anxious, and that’s exactly where he had wanted her to be.

No. She would not give him what he desired. She would not give him the satisfaction of a win. Straightening her shirt, she ran her fingers through her hair –which she had let loose for the evening, and knocked on the door. She was early. Why was she early?

Moments later, he stood before her with that well known smirk of his. “Abby,”

“I brought wine.” She basically thrust the bottle into his chest and walked past him. Immediately after, she scolded herself for being too forward.

“That’s very kind of you.” Marcus answered with a smile as he closed the door but she was way too engulfed in his reality to hear his words.

The minute she walked into the room, his scent enveloped her. His place was cleaner than she would have imagined. Clean but cozy. She could tell he had tidied it up for her benefit, but there were traces of life in all corners.

The bed was made, big and looked inviting. She imagined herself sitting down on the smooth surface, and took an involuntary step. His table carried his belongings, his desk hosted his books. Papers were stacked carefully but the pens were scattered. There was a forgotten mug on the nightstand along with a thin book. The colors that made up his room were cold, mostly blues and blacks, but that’s how it worked on the Ark. It was the essence of him that provided his space with warmth.

Then suddenly she felt his touch on her waist and she sucked in a breath. Seconds later he was standing in front of her. “Welcome.”

Then the bastard placed a soft kiss on her cheek before walking away with the bottle. She let her eyelids flutter close as she reminisced the recent memory of his touch. “Thank you.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever been here before.” Marcus yelled from his kitchen as he fetched two wine glasses.

She was snapped out of her thoughts. “No, I don’t think I have.” There was a black couch next to his desk. She made her way to it.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

She sat down. The leather was a bit torn off but the cushions were still soft. She sank into the sofa and leaned back, still taking it all in. “I can’t say that I don’t.”

“I’m glad.” He came back with the bottle and two glasses. Pulling the small, make shift coffee table in front of the couch, he sat down next to her. “Not a lot of people come by my quarters.”

She paused and watched his slender fingers work the corkscrew. “How about Callie?”

The cork popped with a loud noise and Marcus breathed out. “She hasn’t been here in a long time.”

Everyone knew that Marcus favored Callie. Everyone knew that Callie had a soft spot for Marcus.

“You know, I admire your ability to find unlimited supply of wine in the middle of space.” He continued, changing the subject. He poured the liquid into the glasses. Under the dim light, the red seemed black. “How do you do it?”

“The same way you find scotch.” She replied with a smile, allowing her body to turn to him. Black market was not unheard of. It was difficult and quite rare, but they still acquired what they wanted. She tucked one leg under her and took the glass from him.

She did not drink until he did. And even then, she did not take an extra sip he didn’t.

“It can get difficult sometimes even for me.” He leaned back too. The bottle rested on the glass surface of the table. “Not a lot of people are willing to share their alcohol.”

“Even for you?” She chuckled, and ignored how his eyes went to her lips. “Marcus, no one likes you.”

“Ouch.” He laughed.

She was not afraid. She already knew that he was aware. “It hasn’t always been this way, you know.”

“Really?” He turned to her. “And how has it been?”

“You were so nice back in the day, so gentle… Then you turned into this know-it-all, pragmatic ass who tries his best to keep every in check.” Okay maybe that was a bit too far.

“Kindness can be exploited; it can become your weakness.” He replied in a low voice, taking a sip.

“Kindness is what’s left of our humanity. You can’t just save one and leave out the other. Then there will be no point in our survival.”

Because it was their reality. Extinction was the imminent threat they faced and whatever they did, they circled around the issue like vultures around a dead body.

“I am leaving that bit to you, God knows people like you are better at it than I am.”

“You are good at everything you set your mind to… I know you. If not for yourself, you’d do it out of spite for me.”

Her last sentence made him let out a carefree laugh. She giggled with him, and watched the way he angled himself towards her and put an arm on the back of the couch. His shirt stretched out over his chest.

“Why do you always think I am against you?”

She wished he would stop staring at her like that. It awakened something within her she wouldn’t dare to admit.

“Because you are.”

“Or because that’s how you see it.”

“Oh, come on.” She placed the glass on the table. “You’re telling me all these years arguing with me, you never actually opposed me and my view of our relationship is only in my head?”

“That’s one way to put it.” His hand was on the back of the couch, very close to her neck but she kept her eyes on him.

“So you’ve never hated me?”

“’Hate’ has always been _your_ word, not mine.”

She felt the ferocity building up in her chest. Not only she couldn’t convince him that she disliked him all those years, now he claimed that everything between them was caused by her subjectivity. For a second, she reexamined everything they had ever been through.

“If you’ve never hated me, then what?”

“I challenged you.” He took another sip from the dark liquid. Her eyes went to her own glass on the table, but she instantly averted her gaze. She had no intention of getting drunk that night. “Just like you challenged me.”

“Why?”

“Because I loved it. I loved seeing the fire in your eyes.” Why did it always tingle whenever he lowered his voice?

“You’re confusing passion with contempt.”

“Am I… Or are you?”

His words made her pause. She felt the need to swallow and look down. His gaze was too powerful to hold. She needed a moment to quiet her thoughts but his presence made them grow louder.

“…You think I can’t resist you.” She stated.

“I don’t think you want to.”

“You would be wrong.” A lie. A big lie. Stop now. Turn back.

His hand on the back of the couch started playing with her hair. Her locks curled around his fingers and she found herself leaning into his touch.

“Do you still want to prove that?”

“How?”

He swallowed and gently put the glass down on the table, right next to her. He didn’t have to raise himself from his seat, no, instead he leaned back and Abby noticed the hanger beside the couch she hadn’t noticed before. It was by the corner, a dark silhouette that refused to give itself away. Marcus reached up and tugged at something, and then wrapped his hand around it before freeing it up from the rest of his clothes.

“What’s that?” She asked tentatively once he was in front of her again.

“It’s a tie.”

It was a plain grey one and Abby found it difficult to tear her gaze away from it. He held it in front of her and she looked back up at his eyes again. “What are we going to do with it?”

Anticipation was too big to put up with. Impatience took over her. Her brain had already lost all coherent thought. However, she kept her back straight, eyes facing forward as she threw him a questioning look.

He scooted closer to her on the couch and slowly wrapped the tie around her eyes. Her heart instantly started beating faster. For a second her vision was all black, and then with his free hand, he pulled the blindfold down to look into her eyes, as though that had just been a short preview.

She parted her lips in awe and took in his reply.

“You will resist.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was snickering quietly to myself as I finished writing the last sentence lol don't hate me


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I was partially drunk when I wrote all of this and given that I lack a beta, some parts could have like meehh some grammar mistakes? As an English teacher, I am ashamed yes, don't remind me..
> 
> ALSO HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY LYDIA -sorry I was a complete asshat for forgetting, you is my precious bby friend roll muah  
> this chapter is dedicated to her

There is a moment that exists when you close your eyes. Your sight slips away from your grasp, and you become hyperaware of your surroundings. Because when you can’t see, what else is there? What else is there besides trust?

Lean back, take a deep breath and listen. Listen for what can happen and what might happen. You hope to God you won’t drown in suspense, you won’t let fear take over and kill you. What other choice do you have but to keep going when you can’t see the end of the tunnel?

So you, the reader, waiting to see what will happen at the end of this part. You don’t know, you can only guess. You can only hope. You can either take a step back, turn around and walk away… or you can read on, continue, and jump.

Abby did jump. She jumped into the abyss by nodding when Marcus tightened his tie around her eyes. Darkness took over. She swallowed and trusted him.

It was a bad idea. What was she doing? She had never been one to surrender control. However, this man before her made her want to do things; things she would have never imagined herself doing. Things like agreeing to visit his quarters for the evening, doing what he asked her, letting him in.

“Don’t fidget, it needs to stay on!” He yelled from another room. His kitchen, maybe? Bathroom?

Abby guessed he was in the kitchen. She immediately removed her hands from her blindfold. She felt idiotic, sitting there on his couch, not knowing what was about to happen. What if he was standing there and laughing at her?

“For how long?” She asked. She doubted that was the case. Marcus might have fought with her on a daily basis, but he was never the one to mock. Besides, she could hear that he was up to something. Did she hear plates? No… cutlery? What was he doing?

“Until you want to stop playing… or lose.”

“I won’t lose anything.”

“How can you be sure, you don’t even know what we’re going to do.” He chuckled from the kitchen.

Abby growled in frustration. The blindfold threatened to slip down to her nose but she tightened it around her head. “Aren’t you going to tell me?”

“Mmm, let me think…” He was getting closer now. “No.”

Abby looked up. Not that she could see him, but she could hear him. She could tell that he was close by, and she felt the couch dip when he sat back down next to her. “Do I get a safe word?”

“Safe word?” He asked, a bit incredulous; voice mixed with laughter. “Abby, I don’t know what you think we’re going to do but trust me; you won’t need a safe word.”

“So it’ll be boring?” She teased him. Not that she thought what he had in store for her would be boring. No, she was excited already. There was something fascinating within the unknown.

“Depends on what bores you.” His voice grew softer. “Are you bored now?”

“Yes.”

“You’re lying.”

“Maybe.” She smirked. She hated not being able to see. Because then, she couldn’t hide her blush from him. She felt naked.

“Comfortable?”

“You need to hurry up, Marcus.” She would roll her eyes if they were open.

“A bit impatient, are we?”

There was another downside to being blind; she could not see him. Watching Marcus had always been one of her favorite pastimes. No, she completely refused the notion of being attracted to him, but no one could blame her for admitting that he was indeed an attractive man. Her instinct was to bring a hand to his chest and compensate her sight for the feel of him.

Though she knew better.

“How many other women have you played this little game with?”

The bastard was making her wait on purpose. “Green doesn’t become you.”

“I am not jealous.” She replied, quicker than she liked.

Suddenly he was closer. She could feel the aura of him. She could feel him shift on the couch, and she could hear his breathing quicken. It was true what they said about senses; when one was gone, the others heightened.

“Open your mouth.”

She had every bit of intention to throw him a cocky reply but instead she found herself parting lips; because she was shocked or because she was actually complying, she did not know.

She felt something on her lips, something wet and fresh. Her first instinct was to pull back in surprise. However, seconds later she found herself inching closer to his hand, and sucked in a deep breath when he trailed the fruit around her lips.

She could smell it. It was familiar. It brought her back to her teenage years.

She couldn’t help it. Her hands came up to his wrist. Steadying his grip, she took a bite.

“That’s uhm…” She giggled with delight, not expecting what she had just been offered. “That’s a strawberry. I haven’t had one in years.”

“Hope you don’t need a safe word for strawberries.” His voice was a delight.

“Hilarious.”

He fed her the remaining fruit, and if her teeth grazed his fingers, it wasn’t her fault. She was enjoying the taste way too much to notice.

“They are hard to come by.” She replied, leaning back into the couch. She still faced him but she couldn’t see him. Darkness was a friend now; she didn’t acknowledge its presence. Instead, she cherished it.

“For you, maybe.”

She heard him reach for something else. There were plates on the table, or were there? She could never be too sure.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, open your mouth.”

Then there it was… Something else trailing her lips, something moist. She licked her lips and tasted the fruit that was sweeter than the one before. She licked her lips once more; her hand went up to his wrist again. This time her grip was much softer, she guided his fingers to her mouth.

“That’s a… ah, I know this one.” She couldn’t help himself, took a second bite.

“Getting difficult?” He laughed.

She felt the nectar drip to her lips and wiped the liquid off her chin before it could trail it down her neck. She wondered if Marcus saw it. Because then, she would finally have the upper hand.

“Aren’t you eating? Or are you going to keep staring?”

There was a pause on his part. “How did you know I was staring?”

His answer gave him away. Her lips curved into a sly smile. “I didn’t.” She laughed. “Are you sure I’m the one who’s supposed to resist?”

“Positive.” He chuckled. “Want some more?”

She bit the half, and then took the remaining piece from his hand. Locating his mouth wasn’t difficult when he sat close to her. She shifted even closer to him on the couch and fed the fruit to him.

She felt his lips on her fingers, and let out an involuntary sigh. Not being allowed to see this man was a crime. She could feel that his free hand was now behind the couch. If she leaned back, his arm would practically be around her shoulders. There was something domestic about that gesture Abby was always so fond of.

“So?”

“You fail this round,” he spoke with his mouth full. “It was a pineapple.”

“Oh! I knew that!”

“They grow it on Farm Station, but it is indeed pretty rare.” He explained.

Now, excitement was building up in her chest. She had understood the rules of the game, and she couldn’t wait for what awaited her next. “Is this it? Your secret game is to feed me?”

He didn’t respond, but she did hear him exhale through his nose. “Alright so,” he spoke, “Don’t be alarmed. This is a spoon.”

“I usually don’t get alarmed by spoons.” She quipped and felt the cold metal on her lips.

Seconds later, she found herself licking off its contents. It was sweet, this time something like sauce… Chocolate? No.

“Uhm…” She licked her lips. No. She had no idea “Do I get another try?”

“Difficult?” He asked.

Moments later, the spoon, now full once more, was back on her lips. She nodded and allowed herself to lick the metal object again. This time the sauce spilled, dripped down onto her chin and she giggled, scooping the drop with her finger and licking it clean.

“It’s difficult to eat with my eyes closed,” she laughed, a bit embarrassed. “Did I get it all?”

“No, there is a little something… right here.” He wiped the rest of it off her face. Then she heard him lick his own finger. Something inside her stirred. She held her breath. In that moment, she would give anything to tear off the blindfold and ask him to do it again.

“Good?” She asked, her voice a bit hoarse.

He hummed. “So?”

“It’s…” _Okay, Abby, concentrate. You got this_. “It’s not chocolate… Reminds me of jam.”

“You are close.”

Well it wasn’t her fault. They didn’t have access to every food on the Ark. Sometimes they did get rare treats from the Farm Station, but they were indeed quite rare. Now, Marcus was sitting before her, offering her every bit of sweet delight she’d ever had in her life. It was difficult to remember all their names.

“Oh I know!” Suddenly it dawned on her. “It’s honey.”

“There you go!” He was as excited as she was which made her blush all the more.

Was it her or was it getting hot? It must have been all the sugar she was consuming.

“You seem pretty proud of yourself.” He remarked after a beat.

“Well, at least you _can_ see me, as opposed to what I’m going through here.”

“Hey, this game would have no purpose if you saw everything I fed you.” How warm his voice was… She found herself wanting to taste it. It was all sugar up until that point. It wasn’t her fault if she wanted to cleanse her pallet with the taste of his lips.

_No. Concentrate. This is not the time._

Or maybe, it was exactly the time.

Before she could ponder any further, she felt the cold metal on her lips again. Her lips parted in an instant and she let him feed the next delicacy to her.

Oh… She moaned. This was a lot more familiar.

“Ah... this is so frustrating.” Because she knew the taste. She just couldn’t name it. “I can still taste the honey on the spoon though. Hold on, where is the rest?”

He handed her what felt like a jar, and she was quick to dip her middle finger into it. It was some type of sauce... no… it felt a lot thicker than sauce. It contained chocolate, for sure.

She licked her finger clean and let it go with a loud pop sound. His breathing quickened.

“Does it taste better that way?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know…” She joked. His free hand was still around the couch and she felt herself enveloped by his warmth. Then she allowed herself to take it up a notch. “Wouldn’t you?”

“Abby…” He whispered, but did not finish his sentence. They both knew how it would end.

It was instinct. It was reflex. Or maybe it was stupidity. She found herself defying all her previous stubbornness. Her fingers dipped into the sauce, completely involuntarily she told herself. She was being controlled by her desire. This time, two of her fingers were coated and she slowly brought them up to where she thought his face was.

The rest was easy. Because his hand went to her wrist and he guided her hand to his mouth.

“It’s chocolate sauce,” he replied, and then he put her index finger into his mouth.

Oh… Oh wow. She would not have imagined that it would feel this way. His lips were warm and it felt intense as they licked her finger clean, sucking on it a bit in the process. She bit down on her lower lip, tried to control her breathing and felt him move on to her other finger, tasting the chocolate sauce. The wetness, the stickiness left her speechless and he only stopped until her fingers were free of chocolate.

It was difficult to breathe. She felt the need to fill the silence or else she was going to explode. “I… uhm…” Her voice was raspy, harsh. “I didn’t… know that they made chocolate sauce around here.”

It had been ages since she last had chocolate.

“They don’t.” Marcus licked his lips. “I made it myself.”

Of course he had. Abby’s fingers were still moist. Before she could stop herself, she brought her hand back to her own mouth, and licked the spot where his tongue had just grazed. She tasted him, something which she had wanted to do since she’d walked into his quarters.

“Marcus…” The heat between her legs was back and it burned stronger than before.

“There is something else I made. I haven’t tasted it yet.”

He was lying. He was very much lying. He wouldn’t have presenting it to her if he didn’t know what it tasted like. Suddenly it was very, very hot.

“…Go ahead.”

She felt him lift his arm from the couch and his hand came up to her neck, steadying her. She paused, not knowing what expected her next.

And then his thumb found her lips and he smeared something all over her mouth; something soft that smelled like vanilla, sugar and pure sex.

Then he kissed her, lapping the substance off her lips.

Oh… God. It felt erotic, everything he did to her aroused her to the point that all she wanted to do was scream.

She kissed him back, tasted the vanilla which was now smeared on his own lips. The sauce, or whatever the hell it was, smudged on both their faces. It was already a mess. Everywhere, all their lips, their chins, their fingers were this sticky mess that she wanted to bathe in.

She melted into his lips and longed to taste more of him, coated with this. _More_ was all she could think of. It smelled delicious and she felt as though he was giving her the best and the tastiest kiss of her life.

They only parted when they ran out of breath. Abby breathed out in disappointment when his lips left hers. He was the one to pull away first.

“It’s called whip cream,” he panted, his voice no louder than a whisper. “I found the recipe in an old cookbook.”

She did not care. It was all too much.

“Do it again.”

“Gladly.”

This time he pushed her hair back. The anticipation was about to kill her. She expected him to give her another sugary kiss but suddenly, she felt the warm, moist sauce drip down onto her neck all the way down to her collarbone and her cleavage.

Seconds later, Marcus’s mouth found her neck and he started licking, sucking and nipping her cream coated skin.

Fuck. She couldn’t help it. She threw her head back, buried her sticky fingers in his hair and let out a luxurious moan.

“Marcuus…” She parted her legs on the couch and he was instantly between them.

His tongue was hot on her skin as he made his way down to her collarbone. She wanted to tear her shirt off her body. She wanted _him_ to rip the material apart. His hands tugged at her collar as he made room for himself on her chest.

He licked everything clean and she encouraged him. One of her hands was on his neck, keeping him where she needed him to be, and the other clung to his shoulder.

No. It wasn’t enough. She wanted to see him.

She brought the tie down. The blindfold, still tied with a firm knot, rested around her neck like some kind of a necklace. He leaned back and she had a chance to take a good look at him.

She squinted her eyes first, then watched the disheveled man before her. Marcus looked like chaos; his hair was a mess, the collar of his shirt was stretched to the point it exposed his chest to her; his shirt looked like it begged Abby to take it off, and his mouth… There was still some whip cream around his parted lips, it glistened in the light.

And he looked as though _she_ was what he wanted to eat up, not the treats on the table.

His appearance rendered her mind weak. There was a voice in the distance; a voice reminding her of her promise… she wanted to resist, she _needed_ to resist.

Though now, her body found no way out.

“Close your eyes.” He ordered.

She did what she was told, somehow liking the way he articulated his words. Executing his order gave her a lot more satisfaction than it did in the past. She surprised herself by complying.

Seconds later the blindfold was back around her eyes. Then he picked her up.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read it at your own risk

“This is very simple.”

Bullshit. Nothing is simple. Nothing _was_ simple.

“There is only one rule.”

Abby then was tossed onto a bed. She gasped and immediately raised herself on her elbows. Her sight was lost again, the tie was back around her eyes and Marcus had just carried her to his bed. She still felt the mess on her body from the whip cream. Her head was spinning.

She waited his body to land on top of hers but it didn’t. Instead, he was walking away. She felt empty. Cold air washed over her chest and she shuddered when he spoke again.

“You… will say no.” He was back, probably standing at the edge of the bed.

Abby supported herself on her elbows and frowned. Then deciding she wouldn’t look attractive that way, she let her body fall back down on the bed. It was torture that she couldn’t see anything. His reactions would have been her guide but now… it was all assumptions, it was all black.

“What are you talking about?” She allowed herself to ask, still breathless from their previous make out session. Also, she realized she liked the way Marcus carried her. She wouldn’t have minded if he did it again.

“You wanted to resist, didn’t you?” His voice was low, strained, came out almost predatory. Was he still standing over her? Was he watching her? “So, you will resist.”

“I…” She swallowed, struggled to find her words. Her hand caressed the sheets, the other moved up to hide her face, her blush, her embarrassment. “I didn’t mean…”

“Yes, you did.”

Oh… His hands were on her. She felt them; strong, lengthy fingers started from her thighs and moved slowly up. He touched her belt, her stomach then his hands skimmed through her breasts and came to a halt on her cleavage.

“Marcus…”

Then he grabbed her waist and pulled her to him in one swift move. She sat up on the bed and seconds later, her shirt was pulled off over her head. She gasped at her sudden nakedness. Her clumsy hands were in frenzy, not knowing what to touch, where to land. It had been ages since she felt this kind of excitement in her life.

His lips crashed against hers and she moaned into his mouth. She let him kiss the sugar off of her lips, and when she opened her mouth even further to slip her tongue past his teeth, her bra was unclasped.

Then it was off.

Her breath hitched in her throat and she immediately put both her arms in front of her body, covering her breasts.

“What are you doing?”

His answer was to push her body back onto the mattress. Then he spoke, “Don’t forget, you can stop this anytime you want.”

“Can I?”

“But, you will lose our bet.”

“Why?”

“Because, Abby,” His fingers were on her belt the next. It didn’t take long for her pants to come off; they felt like they were begging to be removed anyway. She was left clad only in her underwear. What was she wearing down there? Was it okay? Was it pretty? Was it embarrassing? She couldn’t see.

“Because we…” He panted. Then she heard the familiar sound of a spoon against a jar. And then, coldness on her belly. She gasped so loudly that she had to cover her mouth. “…don’t have to do this.”

Chocolate sauce. She knew the smell, she knew the texture. It was all over her stomach and Marcus was letting it drip onto her breasts which were still covered by her hands. The sauce smeared all over her fingers and she felt compelled the remove her hands. Then the cold liquid hit her breasts.

“This…” The sauce dripped over her neck as he continued. “…is not in the rules.”

“You mean-“

“The law says we have to make a baby. What I’m about to do to you is not statutory… anywhere.” He was hovering on top of her, she could tell.

“What are you about to-“

She stopped talking when he started licking her neck.

Her mind screamed, it became numb and then it finally fell silent. Her body was the other face of the coin which took over. She relaxed on the bed and felt… just felt the touch of his tongue on her neck as he licked her clean and moved down to her breasts.

Before he did, he pulled back. Abby heard shuffling and when she felt him back on her body again, she noticed the absence of his shirt and grinned in delight.

“This ends…” He kissed the valley between her breasts. “…when you say no.”  Then he licked her skin slowly from bottom to top.

It was easy. It was just one word, uttering it shouldn’t have been difficult. Her plan, a bit foggy but concrete nonetheless, was simple; she would enjoy this… for now. And before it could turn into something more, she would say no, walk out of the room and that would be the end of it.

One word, two letters. Simple. Just, Don’t forget.

“Deal?” His tongue moved under her left breast.

“Shut up, Marcus.”

He chuckled against her skin and took her chocolate covered nipple into his mouth.

Ooohh… ookay, maybe this felt better than she had originally thought. His mouth moved sloppily against her breast and he kissed, sucked and nibbled her nipple. It was instant, she felt herself getting wet. Chills ran down her spine and her hand; no matter how dirty it probably was, went to his hair. The other gripped his shoulder.

He let go of her nipple with a pop and used one hand to remove both of hers, one by one, from his body. “No touching.”

What.

His hand grabbed both her wrists and placed them above her hand on the mattress. When her arms were lifted, her breasts did also and she heard him suck in a deep breath.

She couldn’t wait to have his mouth back on her skin.

He didn’t disappoint. His lips landed back on her breast, this time hungrier than before. He was quick to move against her skin as he licked the sweet sauce, leaving a trail of chocolaty saliva behind. He moved to her other breast.

It was involuntarily. She found herself parting her legs and arching her back to push her breasts against his lips. She wanted him everywhere, she wanted more than his tongue. It felt beyond wonderful. Every move he made was enough to drive her mad. Her body was the stream overflowing the bed and it was about to flood the whole village. She felt herself drowning in pleasure every time he moaned against her.

Ever so slowly, the word ‘no’ slipped away from her grasp. However, he was there to remind her of it.

“God, you are delicious…” His voice rasped against her cleavage. She wished she could see him.

“Must be…” Why was it so difficult to speak? “Must be the chocolate.”

“Doesn’t taste this good on a spoon.”

There it was; the flirting. He had the immense power to make her feel like a goddess of sex then turn her into a blushing school girl in a matter of seconds. Her wrists sipped away from his hand and she covered her face as she giggled.

“Ready to say no?” He asked after a beat, though he continued kissing her body.

“Must I?”

“You were the who…” His lips trailed down to her belly and she sucked in her stomach. “…insisted that you didn’t want this, that you had never wanted this.”

“I… uh…”

“So, prove it… Because we were never ordered to do this.” He lapped the chocolate on her belly, some of it dribbled over to her waist as it dripped down onto the mattress. “I am doing it because I want to…”

“Do you?” She answered him with a question because she was losing all coherent thought as his mouth moved south.

“Prove it, Abby.”

Was she supposed to speak? She was? She should. Yes. Speak, damn it. Say something.

The only thing that came out of her mouth was a moan.

He moved up and this time allowed his body to press up against her. She sighed when he did; she had been expecting him to do exactly that. The chocolate covered both their bodies now, she could feel it.

He brought two of his fingers to her lips and she opened her mouth to let him in, sucking them both clean. The familiar taste of sugar was back in her mouth and she took pleasure in it, dragged out the moment as long as she could.

When he removed his now clean fingers from her mouth, he replaced them with his lips and kissed her thoroughly and deeply like she deserved to be kissed. As he did, he brought those two fingers between her legs, slipped past her underwear and started rubbing her clit.

Ah… Wow. God. Yes, was all she could think of. Yes, please. More.

“I said, prove it…” he whispered against her lips. It was all wet down there, his fingers were coated with it and he slipped them inside her. “…Abigail.”

“Uh…” No, no, no… She parted her legs but tried to regain at least some sort of control. Her own free will failed her.

“Say no and I’ll stop.” His fingers were pumping in and out of her. Her hands found the sheets and they clenched into fists.

She couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to do it.

It all happened very fast. He yanked her underwear off, took off his own pants and positioned himself between her hips. She parted her legs even wider when she felt the tip of him around her entrance, and moved her hips forward.

“Marcus, just…” Ugh. Why was he doing this to her?

“Just what?”

“Please…” She cried out. She needed him in there. Now. Please.

Do it. Oh my God.

He did not disappoint, however he was Marcus and he was a complete and utter bastard. So instead of thrusting in, he thrust up until the head of him rested against her clit. He was completely enveloped in her swollen folds and when he drew back, he thrust up again, not giving her what she wanted.

“Ah!” She screamed out of frustration. “Marcus!”

He didn’t respond, instead he did it again and her hips buckled underneath him.

“Please, please, come on…” Was the constant prayer that spilled from her lips.

“You know what I want to hear.”

“Yes…” She moaned, it was all too much. Her heart was about to burst out of her chest. “Yes, you bastard! I wanted you for so long…”

There it was… the glory of her confession. He wasn’t the sole recipient; she was also confessing it to herself too. She felt embarrassed, exposed, and completely naked in every sense of the word before him. Suddenly, she thanked God for the blindfold because she didn’t know if she wanted to face him.

“I wanted you for _so long_ …” She repeated, now sobbing. It was frustration, it was agony, it was betrayal. It was everything that happened and everything that didn’t happen.

Marcus did enter her then, he thrust into her and she gasped, arching clean off the bed. His body crashed against hers and he took the blindfold off.

He was buried inside her to the hilt so she found it difficult to concentrate. Light irritated her eyes and she squinted first before slowly adjusting her sight. Marcus was everything she expected him to be.

He was covered in sticky sauce, and though she couldn’t see the rest of him, she knew the case stayed the same for his entire body. His once perfect hair was sticking in the air now and she couldn’t help but let out a soft giggle mixed with a sob.

“Sshh, hey, Abby,” He whispered, comforting her. He pulled back and entered her again as she closed her eyes, really felt himself move inside her. Pleasure overtook pain. “…I wanted you too, for such a long time.”

He withdrew and thrust back into her. Relief washed over her body. She wrapped one leg around him.

“Did you…”

“I did. Every day.” He continued his movements inside her and God it felt so nice, so soft, so sensual. When was the last time since she’d last had sex?

He filled her to the brim and reaching down; he located her clit, rubbing slow circles on her skin.

“Every day?” She asked.

“Every single day.” He quickened his pace and she was gone. Wrapping both hands around his neck, she opened her eyes and forced herself to watch. Sight was cherished now and she wanted to see everything; his eyes, his face, his expression, how he moved inside her and how he worshipped her.

“We both lose.” He replied and continued thrusting deeper, faster. His hand was still rubbing her swollen clit and she moaned every time he went in and out of her. Could she have been any wetter? Her body yearned for him.

She felt herself beginning to tremble. A familiar force that she couldn’t quite identify but remember began to emerge deep within her. Her arms and legs went numb but she gripped both of his arms, leaving streaks of chocolate on his skin. His muscles throbbed beautifully from that angle. His eyes watched only her.

Before she could tell him that she was close, that she was about to come, she began whimpering. The force was stronger now and she lost all her ability speak.

Oh. Right there. Yeah… She moaned, she bit her lip and then she screamed. It was a series of waves that washed over her and she felt him quicken his pace inside her. She was beyond the boundaries of caring. He could do whatever he wanted to her right there and then, and she would let him.

The rest was a haze. She did hear him grunt and felt his hips come to a halt after a few minutes. Only then it dawned on her that they were finished.

This time her mind was awake but her body was completely and utterly numb. “Marcus…”

Her voice came out lazy, almost sleepily. He was still on top of her and she felt every inch of him. His skin was hot against her, still sticky. “I think we need to take a shower.”

He chuckled before slowly pulling out. She inhaled when he did and closed her legs immediately after. Her body wasn’t used to this; she was going to ache all over in the morning.

The waves had stopped roaring, now the sea was much more serene. The waters were quiet and inviting. She was drowning in the coldness of it… or maybe it was the lack of clothing in a room with air conditioning.

She looked down at her body; the chocolate was mostly gone but the traces of it still remained. God, she felt dirty… and wet. Yes; shower carried the utmost importance. And solitude.

It took moments to locate her underwear and she put it on quickly, not because she felt the need to cover herself but because after a certain age, walking around naked wasn’t such a good idea. If she still wanted to remain sexy to him, she needed to take control.

The panties were on –though incredibly wet and uncomfortable. The bra was clasped. She didn’t bother with the rest of her clothes before disappearing into his bathroom.

“Abby?” He asked after her.

“I’ll be right back.” She replied right before closing the door.

Quiet.

Silence was the coffee after a long night of drinking. It sobered her up, brought her back to her senses. She had been drunk with joy, pleasure and sex. Responsibilities had slipped from her grasp. And the worst of all, she did not know how. Certainly two sips of wine from earlier hadn’t cause any intoxication.

No, it was her senses. Then it was the absence of her senses. Turning around, she put both her hands on the sink and looked into his mirror. His bathroom was small yet clean. White was all around. The room was dimly lit.

God… Why had she confessed? Why had she done that? Why had she let him win? Now, how was she supposed to look him in the eye? Surely he’d gained some sort of a satisfaction out of it.

Why, Why, Why, Wh-

There was a knock on the door. She jumped. Then turning back to the mirror, she examined herself and ran her fingers through her messy hair.

“May I come in?”

She hummed and when he did let himself in, the coldness of the bathroom slowly dissolved. Warmth made its way in with his entrance.

“You okay?” He came to stand next to her and turned on the faucet. The sound of water filled the room.

She nodded and watched very carefully as he washed his hands. Then he allowed the water to rain down on his wrists as he rubbed his forearms, a weak attempt to get the chocolate off. It was almost funny.

“I lost, didn’t I?” He chuckled.

“What do you mean?”

“I pushed you. I caused you to confess something that wasn’t there.”

“Is that what you think?” She too brought both her hands under the running water. It was ice cold.

“It’s the truth.”

“Oh, Marcus..” She giggled and it was her first smile since she’d left his bed. “And here I am thinking I completely embarrassed myself.”

“No, what,” He widened his eyes. Abby turned to him. He was clad only in boxers. “How can you even think that…”

His body looked so lean, so refined that she longed to place a hand on his chest. Then after a second, she did because there wasn’t any reason as to why she shouldn’t have. His skin was warm under her cold, wet hand.

“Because… Some things are better left untold.”

“Do we need to talk about it?” He asked after a beat, his warm brown eyes on hers. “The past.”

Their past. Their kiss, their silence, their hostility, their dishonesty and finally their present.

She swallowed and looked down. His entire body was a mess and it brought a smile to her lips. Answering his question was a burden she’d rather avoid so turning around, she made her way to his shower.

He had a built in shower along with a medium sized tub. A few shampoo bottles, some of them empty rested on a shelf on the shower wall. He had various shaving crèmes and a few bottles of cologne in front of the mirror. His bathroom smelled like a more intense and an artificial version of him.

Sitting on the edge of the tub, she turned on the faucet and watched the cold water splash onto the white surface. She was getting cold.

“Let’s take a shower first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so I'm a bit self conscious about this chapter so make sure to leave a review on your way out ! <3


	11. Chapter 11

“Were you happy?”

Marcus looked at her over his glasses. Then his lips curved into a playful smile and turned back to his book. “I was pretty happy an hour ago.”

She closed her eyes and giggled. Raising her head, she gathered up all her wet hair and let it spread it over his pillow. Her hands tightened the thin sheet around her. Marcus’ shirt clung lazily on her body. “I meant in your life, so far.”

“I was…” He placed his book on his lap and looked down at her lying form. He was sitting up, his back against the headboard and had told her to go to sleep minutes ago. “…as happy as anyone else, I guess.”

“You guess?” Her hair refused to dry, his had a long time ago.

“I’ve never really thought about it. I have been happy from time to time. Then it was over… and I wasn’t.” He carefully placed the bookmark he had been storing in the last pages halfway into the book, and put an end to his reading session of John Locke. Abby watched it with a curious gaze; she had always preferred dog ears. However when contrasted to the way Marcus lived his life, hers seemed a mere chaos.

“Isn’t that how it works for everyone?” He continued after a beat. Reaching over her, he placed the book on the nightstand, parallel to the only source of light that stayed on in the otherwise dark room.

“And Callie?” She couldn’t help herself; the name circled around her head for months, even years.

“What about her?”

“Did she make you happy?”

“She was not there to make me happy.” Marcus explained, looking straight ahead into a memory. “I’m surprised that you know about her at all.”

“I’ve seen you together.” The confession slipped through her lips. “You were never obvious, but I have seen it.”

“Since when?”

“The first years of my marriage, then I didn’t for a while. Then it got rare until it disappeared a year ago.” It was late in the night as she allowed herself to have this conversation with him. Maybe it was the call of sleep that led her to act ever so carelessly before him, for she knew the morning come, her words would be dissolved into emptiness.

“Can I say something?” When she nodded, he kept going. “Could it be that you saw it because you were looking for it?”

“I never-“

“We never talked, Abby.” His voice was warm and it enveloped her into the cold, cruel and yet courageous night.

“We are now.”

“The night you got married.”

“No..” Fear filled her lungs and she struggled to breathe through it. It was instant; she lost their eye contact.

“All my life, I’ve seen you act nothing but in control. That night, you were…” He didn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he took off his glasses. It was a shame; he looked so handsome in them.

“I’ve never apologized for that.” She swallowed.

“You never had to. You never had to do anything.”

“And Callie?” She took a breath.

“Callie was the path I never took…” He placed the glasses on the nightstand and lay down next to her. Abby looked down at the sheets they had changed together after the shower. “And apparently a recent cause of your jealousy.”

She chuckled. “I’m not jealous.”

“Aren’t you? This is the third time you’ve brought her up.”

Third? Really? Has it been that many? Suddenly she felt blood creeping up her cheeks. The light shined in a yellow-ish hue on Marcus’ face. He hadn’t been shaving, and the lamp gave his stubble away.

“I prefer to call it curiosity.”

“As you wish,” he complied with a gentle smile. That was the essence of Marcus; a quiet gentleness along with a hint of mockery.

There was a beat of silence before Abby let out a deep sigh.

“What is it?”

“It’s just…” She laid on her back, staring at the ceiling. She could feel his eyes on her. “We are just so focused on how we’re going to do this that we sometimes forget to think about what’ll happen when we do.”

“You mean…”

“The child.” She swallowed. The reality of having a second kid was only now hitting her. “How will he… or she grow up? Are we even going to make it to the ground? What will happen when we do?”

“I won’t lie to you.” He whispered after a moment. His voice was deep, calloused in the night. “I don’t know the answer to any of those questions.”

“Then why did you agree to this?”

“Because we didn’t have a choice.”

“There is always a choice.” She scoffed. “You could have played the councilor card, you could have switched the test results, forged a document saying you have a genetic disease, you could have done anything.”

“You didn’t either.”

“I…” Why were all her conversations with Marcus rendered her speechless? What was it about him? “I didn’t.”

“I don’t know… Maybe,” he sighed and she turned to look at him; looked at the discomfort of a confession that was about to be voiced. She waited.

“Maybe, deep down, I’ve always wanted a child.” He blinked a few times, and looked away.

The clock was ticking forward. They did not sleep.

“I am not surprised.”

“You’re not?”

“No,” then she turned to him and spoke with all the kindness she felt towards him throughout the years, the kindness she kept hidden. “You would make a wonderful father. You _will_ make a wonderful father.”

His first reaction was to let out a dim scoff, but realizing how serious she was, his expression gradually transformed into one of amazement. “I… I really appreciate you saying that.”

“I gotta make you happy if I am to have your kid, it comes with the job.” She joked, dissolving the serious aura around them in a matter of seconds.

He chuckled. “You must have a wonderful job. It is easy to please me.”

“Is it? It took hours long of glucose induced guessing game and a massive sugar high to get a smile out of you.” She turned to him on the bed and pulled the sheets closer to her body.

“That’s not fair, I remember you enjoying that just as much.”

“What gave me away?”

“Something like this…” He scooted closer to her on the bed and lifted her –his shirt up, placing a hand on her stomach and slowly sliding it lower. When his fingers reached the hem of her panties, her eyelids fell close and she let out an involuntary sigh. “That sound exactly.”

“You are such a tease.” She giggled that sounded more like a louder moan. Suddenly, she was eager for his hands to reach the spot between her legs.

“The more you know…” He smiled and then… pulled away from her and turned around.

“Marcus Joseph Kane!” Oh… that was definitely unfair.

“How do you even know my middle name?” He mumbled, with his back to her.

“I was closer to your mother than you think.” She let out a victorious giggle and urged him to move. “Now, turn around.”

“Just so you know…” He spoke before he complied. “You are evil.”

“You started it.”

His fingers were back on her body again. Moments later, she was lost.

#

It was safe to say, Abby Griffin had only one thing occupying her thoughts.

After leaving his quarters early in the morning, declining the offer of going down the breakfast together, she had gone back to her quarters to change, and to take another shower. She had smiled all the while washing his scent off her body. Drying her hair, she had stared into her room, the room she had walked out with such determination the night before.

Now, the world seem much softer, the colors much warmer. She could practically feel the dopamine in her blood. Happiness was back after much anticipation.

She didn’t see him again until dinner. However, his presence was trigged by another one.

Sitting by herself, she was quick to spot Jaha making his way over to her.

“Mind if I join?”

He was sitting across from her in the cafeteria before she had time to respond. She opted for smiling instead.

“How are you?”

“I am good, and you?” She replied, running her fork through the pasta. The food they had on the Ark wasn’t the tastiest, no, not after what Marcus had fed her the night before. The memories caused a genuine smile.

“Great. We are already getting results.” His lips curved into a proud smile, his teeth white, his attitude confident. “Six couples have announced the news of their pregnancy.”

“Well, that’s amazing!” Six couples, six children. It was good news indeed.

“Yeah, if we keep this up, we will have the desired number by the time we’re on the ground. Things will work out just fine.” He spoke, digging into his own food. “And… how are things going with you?”

Abby knew what he was getting at. And yet, she played the fool. “Just fine.”

“And Marcus?”

The man was incapable of taking a hint… “He is great. We are doing just fine.”

“How is the consummation coming along?”

Abby paused. He did _not_ just ask her that.

“We are fine. Things are going well. I will _personally_ let you know if there is any change.”

“Abby,” Thelonious spoke. “I am only asking because I care about you, and I know how rough things are between you and Marcus.”

“That was the past.” She replied, stabbing her fork into a few beans on her plate. “This is now.”

“And you’re telling me that he is the perfect partner for this? That you don’t have an ounce of regret?”

The spark of anger that was beginning to bubble up deep down in her stomach turned into rage and fury. She looked up at the man before him, the man who was hypocritical enough to order her to get pregnant, and then be bitter about not choosing _him_ as a partner. How dare he?

All of a sudden, she spotted Marcus at the other end of the cafeteria. Revenge filled her senses. She immediately raised her hand, and called out to him.

No, she needed to keep calm if she wanted this to work.

Marcus smiled first, and then frowned upon spotting Jaha sitting across from her. He was quick to make his way over to them and Abby found herself grateful for his pace.

“I was looking everywhere for you.” She spoke the moment he was within earshot. She was instantly filled with pleasure when she saw Jaha’s scowl.

Marcus sat down beside her with his own tray in hand. “Well, here I am.”

Cards needed to be played right. She needed to keep a cool head.

Throwing one last look at Jaha, making sure that he was indeed watching, she scooted closer to Marcus and wrapping one arm around his shoulder, she gave his lips a gentle kiss. It lasted no more than a few seconds, and she pulled away before he could register what was happening.

“Hi there,” she smiled.

“Hi yourself.” The slight blushed that creeped up his cheeks was undeniable.

His eyes darted between her and Jaha. Abby watched him bite down on his lower lip with a sly smile before turning his attention to his food. He knew what was up.

Jaha’s reaction on the other hand, was the highlight of her day. He raised his eyebrows in surprise first, then he looked down at his tray with embarrassment. When he looked back up again, there was nothing but irritation and anger tracing his features.

“I am glad that things are going well… Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

When he left, his food was untouched.

Satisfaction. Victory. Joy.

She smiled to herself and heard Marcus speak only seconds after Jaha left.

“’ _This isn’t a piss fight, Marcus. He is the chancellor, Marcus_ ’” He imitated her with a high pitched voice.

“Is that supposed to be me?”

He shrugged. “I think that was a pretty fair imitation of you.”

“Hilarious.”

“So, what was he saying?”

“Who?”

He threw her a look. “What did _Jaha The Beloved Chancellor_ say that caused you to kiss me in front of everyone?”

Abby froze. Her fork buried deep in her peas, she blinked a few times before looking up and coming face to face with her brutal surroundings. There it was… The whole cafeteria was watching them. She saw dozens of teens, adults, staring at her and Marcus with eyes wide open. Some of them dared to whisper to each other, some of them opted on snickering quietly to themselves. Pure shock clouded some of their eyes.

Mortified, Abby looked back down at her tray and from the corner of her eye, glanced at Marcus. He shrugged and took a bite out of his food.

“God…” She whispered.

“Did not think it through, did you?”

“Why is everyone staring?”

“My guess?” He spoke nonchalantly. “Some of them are happy that they just won the bet.”

_What._

“Excuse me?” Abby turned to him with wide eyes, her pasta long forgotten. She never had the appetite for that thing anyway.

“Oh… You didn’t know?”

“Know what, Marcus?”

He sat, taken aback. Moments later, an amused smile formed on his lips and he replied as though it was no big deal. “Some people were just betting on if I was the one you were matched with. From what I’ve heard, stakes were pretty high. Guess you ended _that_ debate.”

_God…_

She immediately closed her eyes, not willing to face neither the crowd nor the man before her. With the medicine being so advanced, she was surprised that there wasn’t a drug that could help erase her from the face of the earth. She just wanted to disappear.

“So, what was Jaha saying?” He asked after a beat, as though he hadn’t uttered the words that embarrassed her to the oblivion just moments ago.

“He, uhm…” Abby tried to gather herself. “He was just being nosy.”

“I’m telling you, I do _not_ like where this is going.”

“He is still the Chancellor.” She warned the lion who had his eyes set on his prey.

“Of what? 300 people? Human race is going extinct, and you’re telling me this flawed polity still matters?”

“It’s a democracy.”

“It’s a farce.” He rolled his eyes. “He is the Chancellor of nothing. He has no right to pry.”

She scoffed and stared at the man sitting next to her. It was amazing how Marcus could transform himself from the loving man from the night before and to ruthless one like she saw him to be then. “What is this? First stages of a coup?”

He let out a chuckle that sounded more serious than intended. “I am not that kind of a man.”

There was a beat of silence before she spoke again. “Maybe you should be.”

He looked at her, stared into her eyes for what felt like hours before finally letting out a deep breath and directing his attention back to his tray. The message was clear. It was up to him whether to listen to it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have half a mind to drop all the plot and make the whole story about Marcus overthrowing the government lol


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few of you were in favor of the "Marcus overthrowing the government" idea that I totally wasn't jokingly put forward in the last chapter, so here we go... Porn&Politics, my favorite two things to write!
> 
> Next chapter will be the last chapter of this story.

“Moving on.”

Nodding, Abby carefully placed the file she had just been busy reviewing, to the back of the stack of files she had in her hand. With a deep sigh, she licked the tip of her middle finger and opened up the new line of their subject.

Looking up, she watched Marcus do the same before adjusting his glasses, and throwing the file a thoughtful look. He had stopped shaving for the past few days, and now his face was embraced by a lovely stubble Abby was yearning to touch.

_No. Not here. Not now._

“Now, has everyone looked over the report we have received from the Farm Station?” Jaha’s voice sounded strained. Everyone was aware of their predicament.

“We are running low on rations.” A council member sitting next to Abby spoke up. Marcus looked up and nodded upon hearing the woman’s statement, scratching his stubble.

Abby squinted her eyes and carefully examined the papers before her; various numbers and graphs danced around in front of her eyes. It was all a blur. God, she really needed to get glasses.

“Any comments?” Jaha asked the small group. A man sitting next to him shook his head in desperation.

“It’s only going to get worse,” spoke the woman next to her.

“Let us not forget that we do not know what awaits us on the ground. We need to save our rations for that too.” Jaha replied.

“Save our food for the ground? We can barely survive up here with what little we have left.” Abby frowned. From the corner of her eye, she saw Marcus nod, but his eyes were still on the file.

Jaha looked up at her. With the way that he stared into her eyes, Abby suddenly felt herself naked. “The ground might be inhabitable. What if due to high levels of radiation, flora and fauna have withered away or… they’re inedible and we’ll starve?”

“Then we’ll starve either case.” Marcus suddenly spoke up, and all the eyes in the room turned to him. He held so much authority when he spoke to the point that Abby had trouble tearing her gaze away from him. “We either die here or down there. Now that you ordered us to have children, we can't afford to die of hunger.”

His tone was accusatory. Abby felt as though part of him was still angry at the Chancellor for ordering something like that. No matter how much fun they had had under the sheets, Marcus still felt as if part of his liberty had been restricted. He had mentioned it many times before when they were alone.

Abby agreed with him. She would have liked it much better if she had discovered her connection with Marcus by herself, not by the coercion of the law. But now come to think of it, if left to herself, would she have discovered it at all?

Jaha looked at Marcus. “Newborn children shouldn’t be a part of this equation. Mothers have breast milk for the babies.”

Marcus scoffed and threw a look at his Chancellor over his glasses. “Are you aware of how a female body works? How can a mother breast feed if she doesn’t get enough nutrition herself?”

Abby watched Jaha’s shoulders stiffen up. His nostrils flared as he stared at Marcus, but he shook his head and closed his mouth. “We have rationed before, we can do it again.”

That was correct. They did ration before but this time Abby wasn’t sure how everything would work. She knew Jaha, she knew he was planning on lowering the rations even more. That left them with a problem.

“We must learn from history.” Marcus replied. “People will rebel.”

“Only if you help them.”

Marcus paused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

The air had shifted quickly around the both men. Abby felt a shiver run down her spine when Marcus slowly took his glasses off. She should have seen it coming; Jaha was indeed looking for trouble ever since her attitude towards him had taken up a new form.

When Jaha spoke, his voice came out low. “I might rule this Ark, but you are the one who holds influence. He, who has influence, wins the war.”

Marcus gritted his teeth. “This is not a war.”

Rolling his eyes, the Chancellor stood up. He paced a few steps, up and down the room, eyes watching nothing but the floor. “In nature, the condition of a man is a condition of war.” Then he turned to him. “You know that Marcus, we were taught that together.”

“Only if left ungoverned!” Marcus yelled, standing up. Abby’s heart skipped a beat. When he spoke again, his tone was calmer but still resentful. “You think you're so good at ruling and quoting 17th century thinkers, at least do it right. Men will only terrorize each other if there is no one to ensure their self-preservation. You cut off their food supply, they WILL revolt.”

“We don’t have a choice…”

“There is always a choice.”

Abby felt compelled to interrupt. “We can generate more food. If only I can get more volunteers to start up the algea plantation-“

“That will take at least two months.” Jaha replied. “We’ll run out of air by then.”

He was right. He was also an asshole.

Marcus sighed. “Look, we distribute them the food. They get to survive for what little time we have left. When we land on earth, we focus on finding new resources.” He placed both of his hands on the table and leaned forward, trying to catch Jaha’s gaze. “If you let them starve now, you put our landing at risk, then there will be no future for us to discuss.”

“Abby,” Jaha suddenly turned to her. “How long can a human being survive without food?”

So, it had come to that… She paused and looked up at Marcus before answering. He gave her an understanding look. Only he knew the amount of pressure she was under responding that question.

Taking a deep breath, she turned her attention back to Jaha. “With water, man can survive up to a month. However, you are talking about cutting off all our supplies, including the liquid intake. With the number of pregnancies considered…”

Then she paused and looked down at her own body. She was among the women who were expected to get pregnant. In a matter of seconds, a million scenarios of a child loss crossed her mind. She swallowed hard and when she looked back up, her eyes met Marcus’. He looked worried, scared even.

“Yes?” Jaha interrupted their silent communication.

“If…If a mother does not have enough food and water, we will begin seeing organ failures at week 2. That will result in miscarriages and… stillborns.” She answered, barely stopping her voice from shaking.

Marcus held his breath and looked away.

“Can we risk it?” Jaha came to stand beside the council table.

Marcus looked up with wide eyes. “You want to risk the lives of infants? Babies?”

“We might not have a cho-“

“We do!” Marcus yelled. His eyes sparkled with fury. “We have a choice of evils. But one law may produce more good than harm. You think you will bring the end of the human race? Well, my friend, that day is upon us already. What we do here is the necessary evil.” He paused, taking a deep breath. The room fell silent. Abby longed to touch him, comfort him. But at the same time, she felt a sense of pleasure overtaking her senses.

Was that what she wanted? Marcus finally rebelling against Jaha, her old friend? She felt herself getting warmer with the thought.

Shaking his head, Marcus walked over to Jaha and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You have to think of the greater good. One outcome will always override the other.”

Jaha did not share Marcus’ train of thought. Instead, he took a step away from him, and his hand dropped from his shoulder. “Council dismissed.”

Everyone paused.

Marcus frowned. “You do not hold the power to dismiss this council before the voting.”

He was right. He was absolutely right. This had never been done before.

Jaha looked at everyone in the room; two more people besides Abby. The second time he spoke, his voice sounded a lot irritated. “ _I said_ , council is dismissed.”

The tension in the room was too much to bear. Abby watched his coworkers quickly gather their belongings and leave the room. She too stood up, but preferred to stay.

Marcus was throwing Jaha an incredulous look. He seemed as though he was about to wreak havoc. Eyes locked on his posture, she suddenly found herself rooting for him. His chest heaved under the thin material of his shirt, bringing out the defined lines of his body.

Abby swallowed. Then she felt guilty for taking pleasure out of something like this.

“Jaha, listen to me,” Marcus stepped closer to him. “You do not get to decide on your own.”

“Get out, Marcus.” The Chancellor ordered him.

“You are not the sole leader of the people. You only enforce the law, you do _not_ pass it. That's why this council exists; to prevent despotism.” He was standing up to the injustice. Abby wet her parted lips.

What was she doing? _Stop it._

Then her beeper went off. The reminder she had set from weeks ago was quiet enough that neither men paid attention to it. Taking her eyes off of them, she carefully took it out and stared at the small screen. Yeah… Everything made sense now.

“I am no dictator!” Jaha, entirely unapologetic, defended himself.

Marcus’ face reeked of disappointment. Throwing their leader one last look, he spoke before turning around. “Dictatorship requires total power over the people. You are just a fascist.”

Abby raised her eyebrows in surprise. It was his audacity that surprised her, and now it was his courage that had her following him out of the council room. She couldn’t see Jaha anymore, but she knew he was chained to the ground.

The second they were both out of the room, Abby took his hand. “Follow me.”

“Wh-where-“

She dragged him down the hallway before he had a chance to finish his question.

Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. She couldn’t think of a more clear moment of her life; a moment where she was so full of determination, so full of passion. Her hand was sweating in his but she couldn’t care less. One hand still clutched onto her files. A million scenarios danced around in her mind.

She thought of Jaha, who was probably still in the council room. She thought of the defiance Marcus had proved to have today. She thought of the power he held. This was the right moment.

The second they arrived to her quarters, Abby threw the files onto the nearest table.

“Abby, you okay?” Marcus asked, shutting the door. She was breathless, so was he.

“I’m ovulating.” She blurted out.

It was sudden. His expression turned from one of worry to one of amazement, then amusement. The corner of his lips curved into a sly smile. “Is that why you looked so… in heat when I was arguing with Jaha?”

Why was he talking? Why was he still talking?

She took her jacket off. His eyes watched her every move. There was no time for teasing, she felt herself physically incapable of waiting for him to make a move. She took her boots off. “That and… I think you should be the one to rule, not him.”

“You mean that?” It was funny how his attention had shifted from her clothes on the floor, to the words she had just uttered. Abby appreciated that he valued her thoughts more than her body. She really did appreciate it.... Just, not now.

“I do. Whatever plan you are making in your mind, you should get on with it.” She took her shirt off. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

The shirt was tossed on the floor. Her hands went to her belt.

Marcus’ attention was now on her body. He took a step closer. “Really?”

“Absolutely.” The pants were off. The fact remained that she was undressing in front of him. And the thought of him watching, taking it all in, got her all the more wet. Ah… they needed to do this now.

Bra? Fuck the bra, she took her panties off first. “Now, shut up and put a baby in me.”

Marcus swallowed, actually, she was pretty sure he was about to drool. He wasted no time.

His hands were on her waist in a matter of seconds, and before she knew it, he was backing her up against her bed. The anticipation was building up inside her chest. She didn’t want to wait anymore. She just wanted him inside of her.

When the back of her knees hit the mattress and she was forced to sit down, the first thing he did before giving her a kiss was to go down on her. Suddenly she felt her thighs being spread apart by two strong hands. Pushing her back onto the bed, he lifted both her legs.

The second her back hit the mattress, she felt his mouth on her.

God… She had missed this. She did not know how long she could handle his teasing.

She buried her hands in his hair, and brought his lips closer to where she needed them the most. She let out a moan when he licked and sucked her core, eliciting louder reactions from her. He was playing around with her legs, lifting them up and lowering them whenever he pleased, reaching different angles with his tongue.

He occasionally paused his task to place open mouthed kisses on her inner thighs, only to continue seconds later, hungrier than before, driving her absolutely mad.

When he finally emerged from between her hips, Abby was panting with desire. She brought him down on her and let him kiss her the way he wanted, tasting herself in his lips.

She felt him fumble with his belt buckle and reaching down, she helped him quicken the process. His kisses grew more intense. She arched clean off the bed, aligning her body with his.

Marcus didn’t even wait to take his pants off. The second he was free from his boxers, he found her entrance. He rubbed it with his tip, spreading her wetness all over her folds. She moaned every time he came into contact with her clitoris. Not able to wait any longer, she reached over, placed a hand onto his lower back and pushed him down inside her.

“Yeah…” She nodded and fell back onto the bed.

He took his shirt off before started moving. It had only been a day or two since they had last done it, but now it felt like years. She’d missed the feeling of him inside her every minute she was apart from it.

He gave her another kiss and penetrated even harder, deeper. She cried out every time he hit her bottom.

Minutes later he stopped moving and she grunted in protest.

“Get up,” he took her hand and helped her to her feet.

What… Why…

“Marcus,” She warned him.

“Trust me,” he laughed once they were eye to eye. His pants still clung lazily to his hips.

With one swift move, he pulled her towards the table they had sat and had dinner at weeks ago. She could still taste the wine and hear his laughter from that night. However now, she had a feeling that Marcus had completely different plans for the flat surface.

Before she had a chance to question him any further, he turned her around and bent her onto the table. She instinctively supported herself by placing both her hands on the surface, and gasped when he pressed himself up on her body from behind.

His hand reached between her legs and he started rubbing her once more, getting her ready for what he was about to do next. She immediately melted into his arms, and felt him bend his knees to lower himself few inches to the ground, only to find her entrance with his tip again, and this time thrusting up.

“Oh!” She gasped the second she felt him in that angle and instantly leaned further onto the table. She’d never once imagined in her life that she would find herself in that position with Marcus Kane, on her own dining table nonetheless.

Or maybe she had imagined it… When the night was dark and her thoughts were improper.

His one hand remained in front of her body, on her clitoris, and his other rested firmly on her lower back. She helped him help her keep a good arc, so that he took what he wanted from her, making her completely lose her mind in the process.

She came three times that night. Him, twice.

By the end of the third round, they both collapsed onto her bed, panting and entirely soaked by their own sweat.

“I… Ah…” No, attempting to talk was pointless.

“You okay?” He asked, breathless.

She groaned in return and stared up to the ceiling, eyes wide, lips parted. God… She hadn’t experienced sex this intense since she was in her twenties. “You?”

“Yea… just,” he swallowed. “Tired.”

She chuckled and spoke once she gained a bit of her strength back. “Figures… You are an old man now.”

“Excuse me, who are you calling old? You are the one who-”

“Careful, you’re walking a thin line.” She teased him.

“I was going to say completely youthful, and still impressively flexible.” He raised both his hands in defense, but then dropped them onto his chest.

“Wise choice.”

“I am a known maker of wise choices.” He joked along.

Few minutes later, she managed to get up to fetch her clothes… at least some of them. She put on her underwear back on and was about to throw Marcus his shirt but she figured she liked him better shirtless. “Speaking of wise choices…”

“Please don’t bring up Jaha… Not now, not after I made you come three ti-“

“What are you going to do about Thelonious?” She chuckled, and lay back onto the bed next to him.

“Way to kill the mood…” He lay on his side, supporting himself on his elbow. “You know, this topic should be banned from our pillow talks. I vote yes.”

“Do you think he’s going to decide on his own?”

“Knowing him… Yes, absolutely.” He finally replied with a hint of sadness in his voice. Shivers ran down her spine. They had less than a month to take action. The thought of one man, Jaha nonetheless, deciding the faith of the entire human race brought her chills.

“So… What are you going to do?” She shifted closer to him on the bed.

He fell silent. His eyes fell down onto her white sheets, so she felt compelled to place a hand on his waist to pull him closer, and ask again. “Marcus, tell me.”

He swallowed before looking back into her eyes. Then reaching back to the nightstand, he pulled a few papers out of a file she had seen him read earlier in the meeting. He handed the documents to her.

She took the papers and holding them as far as possible from her face, she squinted her eyes. After a minute of trying to decipher the blurry writing, she gave up. “I can’t see.”

Marcus chuckled and reached back over to the nightstand and grabbed his glasses. He handed them over to her. “Try now.”

She put on his glasses, a bit big and heavy for her face but it did the trick. The words became as clear as water under the light, and her gaze roamed over the phrases. “This is the constitution?”

“Indeed.”

“So?” She looked up at him over the brim of his glasses.

“I found a loophole.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop your comments below and I'll see you in the finale!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be moving to California in exactly 1 month to start law school. I have a feeling that by the time I graduate, the things I wrote down now will make me laugh.

He held his breath.

Abby stirred in her sleep.

He let go.

His fingers reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face. His eyes trailed south, smiling at her state of undress, the bare skin of her waist peeking tentatively from under the covers. He suppressed the instinct to touch her right there, knowing it would wake her up. Her peace was his sole priority.

Three weeks had passed since he had disclosed her his plans. Three weeks had gone by with every day of it filled with this woman by his side, trusting him, supporting him and loving him. Marcus had discovered Abby all over again.

She had promoted herself from being his classmate whom he couldn’t dare talk to, being the woman he’d let himself taste the day of her wedding, being his secret, to being the woman who lay there right next to him. To being the future mother of his child. The woman who’s hand rested divinely on his upper arm, like a pianist resting his fingers on the pristine white keys.

Abby was the woman he had vowed to protect since the day he’d found out he was assigned to her. He had repeated his promise in his head, whispering it over and over again with each step like a prayer, that first night they were scheduled to see each other.

“Hi…” She had breathed out that day. She had rendered him speechless with just one word.

Marcus was so deep in thought that he didn’t notice the change in Abby’s breathing.

“You’re staring.”

He heard her speak, but when his gaze found her face again, he saw her eyes shut tight. There was a small, sleepy smile playing her lips.

“No, I’m not.” His instant reaction was denial, and he mentally kicked himself for being embarrassed in front of her, even after spending almost every night sleeping next to her for the last month.

“I can feel your eyes on me.” She replied, eyes still closed. She did snuggle close to him and he felt her warm body under the blanket.

“I remember telling you to get some rest.” That was another trait of hers he had discovered over the last few weeks; she became restless when she was anxious. Both of them counted down the days to his plan, to the vote, and to the end of the Ark. It had become nearly impossible to keep her steady. She spent her days running around, attending to every possible emergency Marcus didn’t even know existed.

She slept after he did and got up before he even had a chance to open his eyes. And Marcus only slept for 5 hours…

“Abby, you need to rest.”

“And…” She finally opened her eyes. “Why should I start listening to you now?”

“Because I’m worried.” He tightened his grip around her shoulders. “Because the world is ending and you continue operating on patients even after Jackson calls the time of death.”

“How do you kno-“

“The point is,” He could never tell her that he would sometimes watch her attempts to resurrect the dead. “If you are going to try to save the world one person at a time, you need to at least be well rested.”

“Says the guy who spends his days by his desk, reading the same pages he’d read weeks in advance.” Abby sat up on the bed. He followed her lead, resting his back on the headboard. “I know what you’re going through, Marcus. And the worst thing is, you insist on going through it alone.”

“Abby-“

“You have to let me help.”

No. She had been his rock, she had been the person he had turned to whenever he sought peace, and a little bit of hope. But he couldn’t let her see the final act.

“You are already helping. What would I do without you?”

“Don’t make fun of me,” she laughed, and hit his arm playfully.

He wasn’t, but he laughed anyway.

#

Change is symmetrical.

When the leader shows signs of a change, his subjects follow; for the leader is erected from the very society he was molded in. Despite the illusion of an absolute power, the leader doesn’t possess the authority to make his own calls; he is shaped by the people. The two bodies are separate but codependent. If the ruler is corrupt, the roots lie within the very mob he rules.

So when Jaha broke the rules, the Ark was eager to fire back. The angry crowd, rendered hungry, impatient and desperate by their executioner, demanded revenge. They yelled and protested, the women threw fits. Those who fell pregnant under the laws of the tyrant, fought to see him. They yearned for a chance at survival. Most of them, malnutritioned, grew weak.

By the time Marcus took the matters into his hands, he was left gazing into the eyes of a disorganized crowd. The medical was packed with those who couldn’t go on anymore. Jaha had already made his decision. Abby came into their quarters every night with sorrow in her eyes.

Marcus ached inside. Her pain and the people’s perpetual anger were what had prompted him to act.

He had started out by drafting an impeccable plan. This elaborate layout had taken a week to construct. Every night he felt her hands on his shoulders, lightly massaging the knots.

“Share with me,” she would say. “I can help.”

“I already have,” he would reply, placing his glasses on his desk and placing a hand on hers on his shoulder.

“Not completely.”

And he wouldn’t have the heart to turn around. Because she was right. It was essential that Abby was kept in the dark, for her own protection.

He spent the last week organizing various meetings with various representatives from each group. Some were too weak to fight; looking up at Marcus as a last resort, some still guarded their demands.

Their once unified society was now highly divided. Corruption began to show its ugly face. Reports of theft came in almost every day; mostly of food and medicine. Upon being on the other end of those crimes, he would see Abby curse under her breath. He would watch her close her eyes for a second, exhale and sit down. She never did get angry, instead she remained uneasy.

He longed to make it all end for her. She refused his help. She was, however, always eager for a collaboration.

When the scheduled date began to show its face in the horizon, people grew anxious. Though, none of them backed down. Marcus saw pride in their eyes; pride, dignity and honor. They stole to feed the children; it was an act of despondency. But their hearts remained true. They all desired the same outcome…. Survival.

Marcus designed his scheme based on the loophole he had discovered. He longed to confront Jaha, but he knew that his ruler was unapproachable. Besides, without the use of a force, he had no leverage. Being right or moral failed to be enough, he needed to win. He had a responsibility to the people who desperately looked for a way out. The best plan was their only plan. They followed Marcus religiously. He promised to deliver.

The coup took place at 5.00 AM.

That was the protocol with military interventions; Marcus being the head of the guard knew that. The hallways are empty during the early hours of the morning, everyone being asleep. It is done that way to reduce collateral damage. During the day, the people will try their best to intervene; that is the natural instinct. But when you hear hell breaking loose in the waking hours, your sense of security vanishes. A lockdown is applied, so that the people stay safe. They stay alive.

“Be careful,” Abby had asked him in a hurry seconds before he left.

“Lock the door after I’m gone,” was his only reply.

They took out the guards one by one. There remained a few who still kept their loyalty to the Chancellor. The rest of the people despised them.

By the time they made it to the main hallway, most of the Chancellor’s private security detail was dismantled.

Jaha was woken up.

Marcus repressed his fear. Breaking the law gave him a sense of terror he couldn’t possibly deny; the same law he had vowed to protect for ages. His mind darted back to Abby. He frowned, and turned to the man next to him, telling him to up her security.

It was 6.15 AM by the time they took down all the guards. He fought personally with the last one; Matthews. Marcus knew his wife. He winced when he threw him another punch. He refrained from using his gun.

“Sir?” Asked the man from behind him.

“Don’t hurt him,” Marcus pushed the disoriented Matthews into their arms. “That’s an order.”

Then there was silence.

“Is he inside?” The man’s voice was trembling. When Marcus turned around, he saw horror in his eyes.

He probably was. After having been woken up, there remained only one destination that Jaha could possibly seek refuge in. The rest of the chambers were covered. He was trapped, like a mouse in a cage.

Suddenly the footsteps behind him grew louder. Marcus turned around and he saw the crowd getting larger. Knowing that the situation was under control and they were nearing towards the end, the men started to abandon their posts, coming to watch the fall of their leader. Everyone wanted to see Jaha crash and burn. Eyes multiplied in the dark. Men and women stood side by side with hope in their eyes.

Overwhelmed, Marcus took a step back. Then among the crowd, he saw her.

He watched her gasp when she realized she had been spotted. His heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t possibly allow this to happen.

“Abby,” he breathed out and watched painfully as she pushed people aside, stepping out of the mob that hid her even for a brief moment. She wore the same shirt from that morning. He recalled the memory of her putting it on. Her hair was down.

There, then, in the middle of the revolution, she still took his breath away.

“I couldn’t stay behind,” the confession slipped past her lips the moment she stood before him.

He shook his head. No matter what her reason was, she couldn’t be there. The air around them was thick with tension.

“You need to turn back, go home, lock the door like I told you to do-“

“No.”

“Abby…” He dropped his gaze to the ground. He knew that tone. That tone meant she had made up her mind.

“Let me come inside with you.”

He froze. He knew he could accept and welcome any action she decided to take, but this was impossible. This was something he couldn’t let her do.

“This is something I have to do alone.” He swallowed and looked into her big brown eyes that sparkled under the flickering lights. Her looks were bewitching. He promised himself to stay resilient. “I need you to stay here, and keep an eye on these people.”

“They need _you_ , Marcus.” She bit down on her lower lip.

“They need me to be inside those doors.” He nodded, his mind was made up. He took a step back. “I trust you.”

He took another step back, slid his card into the slot. The door was opened. They looked into each other’s eyes.

He disappeared behind the metal.

What awaited him inside this chamber was much more difficult to face. He turned around.

The room was dark, the very room he had spent discussing bill after another with the members of the council. He had so many memories in these chambers. The council table which had witnessed far too many embarrassments, victories, loses was now illuminated by the single light on the ceiling.

Jaha indeed remained alone.

It was the final act. The game was over. Marcus walked into the room, pulled out his gun.

When he was by the table, looking down at the man who claimed his usual seat, they made eye contact. Jaha’s gaze, then, shifted lower to the gun.

Instead of pointing it to him, Marcus put the weapon on the table.

“I’ve never wanted this.” He spoke quietly.

“And yet, you’re leading it.” Jaha replied from where he was sitting.

“Someone has to.” He kept his gaze on the other man, knowing that the pistol was not necessary. It was over. “I couldn’t let these people die.”

Jaha smirked. “And is that what _I’m_ doing?”

“You made a call. It affected all of us.”

Jaha stood up, a small smile of incredulity still playing on his lips. Marcus gave him time. The man took a couple of steps back and turned to him. This time, Marcus saw fury in his eyes. “What you're doing is illegal. Nowhere in our constitution it says that this government permits a violent act such as this one.”

He was right. Arranging this coup was a clear breach of the rules. But, Jaha wanted to fight him on this, and that is exactly why Marcus had come in here alone. Dragging the crowd into the council room would only result in bitterness.

“No, it doesn’t.” He replied, closing his eyes before dropping the bomb. “I am not here on behalf of the coup. I am here to help you end this with honor.”

“Honor? How dare you speak to me about honor when you go behind my back and-“

“Look,” He put a hand forward, stopping the man from talking. “During the voting process in the council, in order to stay fair and unbiased, the constitution places the Chancellor on the acting duty of a judge so that you can remain impartial.”

“What’s your point?” Jaha raised his eyebrows.

“We have commenced the voting process the second there was a division of opinion. You are officially the acting judge.” Marcus completed his train of thought, staring right into Jaha’s eyes.

The man was silent. The wheels turned in his head. Marcus spared him from further thinking. “Sir, I am asking you to recuse yourself.”

“You wouldn’t dare-“

“It is completely legal.” Marcus took a step towards him around the table. “No one will force you to step down. It will be on your own free will, but this Ark cannot run under your administration anymore.”

“And who will you be Chancellor then? You?” Jaha raised his voice, mocking his idea.

“I don’t think we will need one anymore. We are dying.” It was difficult to speak the words. “I will try my best to get us to the ground.”

“And what happens then?” Jaha slammed a hand on the table. “What if the habitat is still filled with radiation? What if you can’t find food? What will you eat? Rationing was a necessary ca-“

“The decisions have been made. Please, recuse yourself.” Maybe he was right, maybe he wasn’t. But people were dying, right in front of him. His people were starving, when he had food just in his reach. Survival was possible.

“I have no reason to recuse myself,” was his next answer. He seemed determined on evading every route Marcus pointed him towards.

He sighed. "The law requires you to recuse yourself in any proceedings in which your impartiality might reasonably be questioned. These include proceedings in which the judge has a personal bias or prejudice against any of the parties in the council." He had read the constitution enough times to know every law, every bill, and every amendment by heart.

Marcus quietly begged Jaha to give in. The conversation was heading towards a place Marcus was afraid of. He did not want to do what he needed to do next.

He turned his head to the metal doors. Abby waited for him behind them.

"I do not, and have never had personal bias towards any of the members in this council, nor will I ever have. What you're doing right now is illegal and I demand to see your proof!" Jaha raised his voice even higher. The fear was evident in the man’s eyes.

Marcus’ voice trembled when he spoke. “Abigail Griffin.”

“Excuse me?!”

“You love her. Therein lies your bias.” He stared right into his eyes. He could not back down now. He tilted his head upwards and examined the man before him, curious as to what his next move would be.

“You’re the one sleeping with her!”

Those words angered Marcus. The hypocrisy behind them was tremendous. "Because of a law _you_ passed!” He found himself also raising his voice. “Mandatory intercourse doesn't equal to love, whereas you have proved your bias numerously in matters concerning her."

“I never-“

“You killed her husband!”

Jaha was taken aback. He paused, eyes fixed on Marcus as though he was having trouble believing what he was accusing him of. Marcus stood his ground. He looked down at the man, refused to back down.

Moments passed when Jaha finally replied. “He committed a crime.”

“To which they both came forward with.” Marcus responded, walking around the table so he was finally face to face with Jaha. Fury still coated his voice. “She confessed, Thelonious, because she trusted you to avoid the sanction. She sold out her husband for a slight chance of reconsideration. Jake was a trusted member of this council and a chief engineer of the Ark, and you murdered him because you are in love with Abby.”

When he finished, his voice was a lot calmer but his eyes still carried the traces of everything he had watched him do for all those years… everything he had allowed his chancellor to do as he sat back and watched without putting a stop to it.

“It…” Jaha paused. “That doesn’t change the fact that he committed a crime.”

“This council has always shown mercy towards crimes committed by the members of the council.” With that he took a step back and reached for one of the drawers located under the council table. With one swift move, he pulled out dozens of files and slammed them all onto the table. “The precedents are your proof.”

When Jaha was silent, Marcus continued. “So either recuse yourself now, or I won't stop the hungry crowd behind these doors from treating you the same way you treated Jake Griffin.”

Silence.

#

Marcus heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

The second he saw Abby’s face, he shut his eyes closed as though he was not ready to look her in the eye after what he had done. The villain had fallen, the curtain was closed. And yet, there was no one left to take the final bow. It was lonely under the spotlight, a final call he forced himself to bear so she wouldn't face the catharsis.

Abby could never know what Jaha had done.

“How are we doing?” he asked, solely to fill the silence. He knew how they were doing.

She answered anyway. “We’ll make it.”

He had done it for her, for her future. Looking at her now, he saw the potential she held. She gave him the will to turn the world around. One command from her and he would move planets so they could change their course for her. One word from her and he would bring the whole population to their knees. One tear of hers, he would move heaven and earth to see her smile again.

He rejoiced in the authority she inspired. She was the reason behind the power. He loved her. He had loved her for countless years.

As she approached with timid steps, he sensed the uneasiness in her slim figure. It rendered his senses alert.

“Abby?” His eyes searched for clues, hers remained unresponsive. She swallowed, her stare giving away her hesitation, and yet he could identify the traces of a young smile.

A shadow passed through the half-open doorway. She drew a breath.

"I'm pregnant."

 

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Love that is happy, won't have a story". These are the words my History of Literature professor repeated every semester I took his class. First time I've heard him say it, I was a sophomore in college, and I wanted to negate it by saying "No, there is always fanfiction!". My mind had refused to take in the fact that happy love won't have a story on its own. However, now graduating from university and having read many many works from many many authors, I have come to realize the truth behind that statement.
> 
> Love that is happy, will not have a story indeed. Without those obstacles, without having anything to overcome, without having something a reader can relate to, that love will be storyless. It will be plain, too boring for its own good, too domestic and calm. The good will always remain; but good people won't make good lovers.
> 
> You can choose to imagine that Kane and Abby did indeed have their baby, and made it to the ground (that's how the tone of the story is set anyway). However, that is the part I will not put into writing. If I do, I must create conflict and I do not have the heart to do that for these two brilliant characters.
> 
> Please choose to believe that they had a happy life, a happy love… which is exactly why they don't belong to this story anymore.
> 
> Thank you for the journey.


End file.
